Veterans Archives: Preserving the Stories of our Nations Heroes
In a world where storytelling has been our link to the past since the days of cave drawings, there exists a timeless tradition. It's the art of passing down knowledge, and for Military Veterans, it's a crucial piece of their legacy. Join us on the Veterans Archives Podcast, where we dive deep into the heartwarming and awe-inspiring stories of those who served, no matter when or where.
Here, Veterans get the chance to be the authors of their own narratives. Through guided interviews in a relaxed and safe environment, they paint their experiences with their own words and unique voices. The result? A memory card in a presentation box, a precious gift they can share however they please.
But that's not all. These stories find a secure home in our archive, a treasure chest of experiences for future generations to explore. The best part? It's all a gift to the Veteran – our way of saying thank you for their service.
Tune in to the Veterans Archives Podcast, where history, heroism, and heartwarming tales come to life.
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Veterans Archives: Preserving the Stories of our Nations Heroes
Building a Legacy of Compassion and Connection with Brandyn Mickus
Have you ever wondered how childhood experiences shape our decisions later in life? Brandyn Mickus, a former member of the Michigan Army National Guard, takes us on a nostalgic journey through his idyllic upbringing in Michigan, where his nurturing mother and resourceful father instilled values that led him to military service. Growing up in the adventurous 90s, Brandyn reminisces about the close-knit community and playful days that ultimately guided his path to the National Guard. As he shares stories from his service, we explore the camaraderie, challenges, and personal growth that come from such a transformative experience.
Journey with us as Brandyn candidly recounts his time in basic training and deployment to Iraq, offering insights into the rigors of military life and the unexpected friendships that formed in the heat of service. From the sweltering sands of Kuwait to the bustling streets of Mosul, Brandyn's stories highlight the resilience and camaraderie that define military bonds. He recounts narrowly escaping danger and the constant vigilance required, painting a vivid picture of the highs and lows of deployment. These experiences, while challenging, paved the way for his transition back to civilian life, where military discipline and structure became pillars of his success.
Brandyn’s story doesn't end with the military; it's just the beginning of a new chapter filled with love, family, and service to others. His unexpected romantic encounter at a wedding led to a lasting partnership with his wife, while his commitment to supporting fellow veterans through Veterans Connected showcases his dedication to community and mental health. From building a family to building a legacy of support for veterans, Brandyn's journey is one of resilience, gratitude, and the enduring power of love and kindness in everyday life. Join us as we uncover the inspiring path of a man dedicated to family, community, and service.
Good morning. Today is Wednesday, october 23rd 2024. We're talking with Brandon Mickus, who served in the Michigan Army National Guard. So, brandon, thanks for coming in today. I appreciate you having me. Well, we're going to start out really simple. I'm going to ask you when and where were you born?
Speaker 2:I was born in Howell, michigan, on January 24th 1986. I am the millennial, three years after I graduated high school.
Speaker 1:By the way, and for those of you who are listening to this out there right now, brandon and I did serve together in the National Guard. We did a tour in Iraq together, but there's a lot about you I don't know. So what was it like growing up in Howell, don't?
Speaker 2:know Um. So what was it like growing up in Howell? Uh well, actually I grew up in, I was born in Howell.
Speaker 2:Uh, we lived in Brighton and then moved to, uh, Union Lake, Waterford area and moved back to Brighton when I was, uh, uh, in the middle of third grade, and that's where I I, you know I say I'm from from Brighton lived there my entire life. Um, I had an awesome childhood. I am I am one of the few that can say that I am truly blessed with incredible parents. I had an awesome childhood. All the laughs, the love, all of those things. My mother is an incredible woman. She is the kindest, she's the sweetest, she's the caring one, nurturing. My father is the ex-, uh, you know, can do anything, can build anything, fix anything, Um, the problem solver, right. So I had, uh, I was blessed from from both standpoints. Your dad would kick your ass right now.
Speaker 1:He heard you say X.
Speaker 2:I know and you know what, I even have it in my notes. I said don't call him an expert I mean I know better, but uh, it was kind of a jab. That's my, that's my duty. He's my best friend, so you know, I know he'd get it. Well, when he listens to this he's going to call you. I know it's okay, it'd be worth it, yeah, so.
Speaker 1:So what did you? What did your mom do? Was she a homemaker, or or?
Speaker 2:uh, you know. So they both played the team, the teammate role, um, and that's um, they, they both did whatever it took at the time. You know, my dad owned construction companies growing up, um, you know he, uh, he built furniture for a steel case and, um, my mom she was, she worked for mortgage companies. Um, she worked at McDonald's for a while. When she was a kid, she worked there with her mom, uh, so that was, yeah, I know it was.
Speaker 2:It was kind of cool, like I got a whole story about my grandmother too, um, but, um, yeah, when my dad was in construction, my mom stayed home, um, and then he had an accident where he uh, a wall that they were building actually gave way and then landed on his ACL, so he was out of work for a little while. My mom went back to work, um, and so, like I had, you know, both experiences with, uh, the stay at home dad or the stay at home mom and um, but, yeah, both of them instilled a lot of different qualities, you know, and worth work, ethic and, um, and, you know, being a good partner. It was. That was awesome to watch. Oh, that, oh, that's very cool.
Speaker 1:That's a great talk about teammates, right? One tags out, one jumps in. What about siblings? Any siblings, Absolutely.
Speaker 2:So I have two brothers, one sister, one half brother, justin, chris, lauren, immediate family members and it's funny, I mean like we had like the kick-ass 90s childhood, right. I mean it was three boys and one girl, it was pretty much full contact. Anything that you could play growing up, whether it was hockey or soccer, you name it, but we were always doing it together and I think that was kind of the cool thing. I mean, being a family of six and four kids, there's never a dull moment. There's always something going on, whether it's just us hanging out, you know, growing up, or you know when we were in our um.
Speaker 2:I don't know, as soon as we moved to Brighton, back when I was probably 10, um or eight, I would say um. We lived in the subdivision, so there's tons of kids, so our house was always full. My mom was, you know, my mom's incredible to put up with all of us, you know, in the shenanigans. Uh, but it wasn't just us, you know, we had a lot of, you know, adopted brothers and sisters, so to speak, just because we were so close with the people we grew up with.
Speaker 1:So was it like one of those neighborhoods where, uh, everyone's house is everyone's house?
Speaker 2:Everyone's house is everyone's house knew everyone was, because the the bikes were laid out in the driveway or the grass. Um, you know, you saw him playing hockey in the street and you just showed up and you played. I think that was the coolest thing about uh, being a kid growing up in the 90s is there was no social media. There was no uh, so to speak, accountability. You just kind of you went and everyone hung out and it was what it was and I don't know. I guess you could almost say it was nice being a 90s kid because you had to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. You put yourself out there and that's the life experiences that you gained was from those moments of stepping up.
Speaker 1:Right, right. So it sounds almost like a 70s or 80s kid when you're out. You would go out and you would hang out with your friends and you came home generally when the streetlights came on.
Speaker 2:And that is a fact.
Speaker 1:Did you guys drink from a hose?
Speaker 2:We did, you know, and we're still here to talk about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:We were smart enough to let it kind of. You had to let all that hot, hot hose water get out of there before you took a good sip of the cold stuff from the well.
Speaker 1:That's right, I've become quite a connoisseur of hose water. Actually, it takes you back. They should bottle that stuff I'm telling you. So what was school like for you?
Speaker 2:School was good. School for me was more of an opportunity to hang out with my friends. I was never a bookworm, I was always a jock, but I didn't subscribe to any specific clique. I hung out with everybody in early childhood on the playground. My nickname was Bam Bam, and it wasn't because I was a jerk or a punk, it was because I had an issue with people getting picked on. So I mean and this goes all the way back to kindergarten is when I got the name and it just kind of stuck, not so much in my later years, but, you know, in my childhood for certain. Uh, bam bam was my nickname and uh. So yeah, childhood was.
Speaker 2:You know, childhood in school was great. Um, up until not up until, but up through middle school, high school, I played a lot of sports, a lot of hockey. Uh, I'm still. I still play hockey with some of the people that I grew up playing hockey with on Tuesdays. So that's a great time. Obviously it's like a little reunion every time we get together. But school was great. Man, I got no complaints. Anything that you say about my childhood, man, I was certainly blessed, that's a fact.
Speaker 1:It sounds like it. I got to ask, though are there still people out there that will call you Bam Bam? And people are like what the hell are they talking?
Speaker 2:about. No, my mom, every once in a while, will throw out the name Bam Bam and I think it's just to get some looks or bring back some old memories. She's really good about that. But yeah, bam Bam, that's funny.
Speaker 1:So you make it through school and you graduate.
Speaker 2:What happens after graduation. So I did what everyone else was doing and, you know, went to college. I went to community college at at Washtenaw, and uh didn't go anywhere with it. I had the same mentality that I did in high school, which was pretty much just chasing girls and and uh, hanging out. I partied way more in high school than I did in my my twenties, um so, but I had a great relationship with my, my parents, I mean, it was, you know, I'm here and there was. It was built on trust, right, and so if I was ever in trouble I knew that I could just make a simple phone call. They'd be there in a moment. Um, but high school, after high school, uh, I went to community college and, uh, I had fun in the interpersonal communication classes, but I most certainly still wasn't trying to absorb the mathematics in English and all of the things.
Speaker 1:There's a question I wanted to ask, and I should have asked it a little bit earlier. So where did you fall in the pecking order of kids?
Speaker 2:I'm the oldest, so my half-brother is technically the oldest. I didn't meet him until I was 16. And we're we're not in a whole uh, we don't keep in contact too much Uh, he's actually in the army right now doing great Um, but yeah, I'm the oldest of uh, of our family and uh, just, you know, didn't matter what we were doing, if I was, if we were playing Ninja turtles, I was Leonardo, you know. Know, if I was uh for playing three ninjas, then I was rocky, okay, um, yeah, I was always, always the leader and uh, totally cool with that. Which power ranger were you? I was the red power ranger. Oh, I was still the leader of the the power rangers, that's okay this is it, is it?
Speaker 1:this wasn't lost on me, so my, my son's, about your age and um, we used to watch power rangers every morning oh yeah, I want to know why this stupid Green Ranger had his own song. You know what I mean. Like the Power Rangers had their song, but when the Green Ranger showed up there was a different song for the Green Ranger. We used to make fun of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't have the answer to that. The Green Ranger was also the White Ranger he was my favorite, by the way, but I was the red ranger for about six years for halloween. Okay, yeah, I wore it religiously. Um, my mom still talks about that. Um, yeah, that was, uh, power rangers, though the live action one that they came out with later in life was great, did you know and I just learned this out, or just recently but that entire show was actually filmed in japan for a different, like a different, plot, and then they took all the video and just dubbed over it with their context and added a few clips here and there to give it some background context. It was crazy. Yeah, I know it'll. It'll blow your mind. I'll have to send it to you later on, yeah.
Speaker 1:You've ruined my life.
Speaker 2:I listen mine that that whole thing was a lie. I know I'm glad that wasn't my childhood Mind blown. Mind blown. No, it's kind of crazy how they did it, but it's cool yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, but I digress. So you're in college and really it's more like just a little bit more of high school. For you it's a bit of a higher level. Did you get your degree?
Speaker 2:No, actually, I realized quickly that after a year of paying for community college and getting you know the same subpar grades, I wasn't a bad student by any means, but I wasn't the one that was like in the books because I had to get you know the 4.0.
Speaker 2:It just wasn't me, wasn't your thing? No, and that's fine, no. So after high school did the college thing for one year and a buddy of mine was joining the Michigan Army National Guard and he's like let's do it together. He signed up to go infantry and I didn't know what I was destined for. So I took the ASVAB and military police came up. I was like that sounds kind of cool, you know, drive around a cop car and pull people over and do the whole police thing. And so we joined right.
Speaker 2:Hands down, probably the best decision or thing that I ever did for myself was to choose to serve. There's a lot that I can say about my life, whereas if I didn't enlist at the time that I did, I have no idea where I'd be at today. So I owe a lot of who I am and where I'm at to my military service hands down. There's no denying that. But even when I made that decision it wasn't an easy decision.
Speaker 2:My dad was certainly for it, not necessarily because I needed it, but because he knew what it did for him, and so that was encouraging to have that kind of support. My mom obviously was kind of a mess about it, you know, joining during a time of war knowing that it would be likely that I'd have to go serve, but it didn't didn't change her, her support or love for me, if anything. It just kind of deepened it and made it another trial that we were going to make through together. So her perspective on things again, uh, is is huge in in many different aspects of my life and the way that it shapes how I am, who I you know, how I think. Um, she's incredible and I could, I couldn't honestly just sit here and talk to you about how how awesome I or how lucky I am to have her as my mom.
Speaker 1:We could probably do a whole separate interview about your mom. We could and I'm willing. So here's something that uh, then laugh if you want to. Uh, until recently, recently, probably in the last couple of years I didn't realize that you could just join the national guard. Like I thought the National Guard was for people who had been on active duty and just wanted to finish out their time. I kid you not, so you know I uh, actually it was it. It was after I retired and I started really talking to people, I realized, oh, there's, there's probably more people that joined the guard, like out of high school or out of college, than there are that joined, like I did, after serving, you know, in the Navy for me. So yeah, that was kind of a surprise to me to find out that you could do that. So how did you? So I know that your friend kind of turned you on to the National Guard, but did you think about, like, the reserves or other components, or you just like I'm going to join the National Guard?
Speaker 2:Well, the National Guard to me was the reserves. It was just a component of the reserve. So you basically had two choices Michigan national guard or army reserves. But everyone kept telling me to uh, consider the Michigan army national guard over the reserves, simply because there was an additional source of funding. Um, so more opportunities, more promotion opportunities, schooling, you name it. Um, so that was my decision for my, my logic of choosing the Michigan Army National Guard. Plus, it was kind of thrown at my lap like hey, here's a great opportunity. Um, and I had no interest in going active. Uh, I've mentioned it several times and I'm sure I'll say a ton more, that I had a great family life. Um, there was no need for me to run from anything or try to get out of town. You know there wasn't a whole lot going on in our town, um, but I certainly wasn't looking to leave the people that I loved.
Speaker 2:So, that was a great choice for me. You know, we call them, you know, weekend warriors, we prefer the term hometown heroes. Uh.
Speaker 1:I like that. I think we should, we should, uh, we should start an advertising campaign for that. Absolutely, and anyone who's been in knows that the whole weekend warrior thing is out the window. At least my experience was not one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer, and we'll get into that a little bit. When did you head off to?
Speaker 2:boot camp, so I enlisted in April of 2005.
Speaker 2:I actually shipped to basic training at the end of September and I started basic training on October 1st.
Speaker 2:I was the very first class of the new fiscal year and the only reason that that's relevant is because we were the very last class to receive the BDU uniforms right, the battle dress uniform, so the green army fatigues, and then everyone after us was wearing the tan boots with the AC know the ACU colors. So we were the last ones to have to, you know, shine the boots and go through the I don't know what you would want to call it. You know the old school mentality of of training back before they had a lot of these new policies. So I'm thankful in that aspect that I had a harder training session and for us, for MPs, it was a total of six months. There was nine weeks of basic training and then 11 weeks of your advanced individual training to become a military police officer, and it was at Fort Leonard Wood, missouri, and the cool thing about there is it's kind of a lot of like michigan where you had all four seasons sometimes in one day since that was where I was going with it.
Speaker 2:Next I'm you know it's fine, it's uh, you know, when we were doing our field trading exercises or even just waking up, you know, for normal routine on base, uh, it'd be snowing in the morning and then you'd be sweating profusely by lunch. So yeah, but I just remember the training exercises out in the middle of the fields, doing those simulated patrols at night, and it's just like the crisp wilderness sky, because you're in the middle of nowhere, it's just nothing but stars, there's no lights anywhere, just so peaceful. And it's like that smell of, like the crisp air, like I still, I still reminisce about it today, like I'll be walking down. Just I don't know. You just you know those scents will kind of capture you and take you back to specific moments in time, some good and some bad, these good ones though it's.
Speaker 2:It's funny Cause I can, just I can still remember you know, doing my patrols, looking up at the sky and recalling that exact moment of you know what it smelled like, what it felt like, how cold it was. Um, you know, it was just I don't know. It's one of those kinds of cool history, or memories.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, not to put too fine a point on it for people, but this is how it is at Fort Leonard Wood. I remember going to OVC there and doing a field of training exercise where it was like it had to be 90 degrees and we were all just drenched in sweat. We're working all day long. We get back to camp and we had set up these GP medium tents with these wood stoves on them to heat them up, because it got cold as hell at night.
Speaker 2:Well, we all just hit our cots and everyone fell asleep and no one put wood in the stove.
Speaker 1:Right woke up the next morning frozen to my cot like my. My whole uniform crackled because it was soaked in sweat and then it froze. That's, that's my memory of four. I loved it there, but that's my memory of right underwood, yep. So what was it like, stepping off the bus? Uh, the first day of basic training. I'm sure your dad filled you in on kind of what to expect, but was did anything surprise you when you got there?
Speaker 2:no, not too much, um, and it's honestly because I've I have this, this mentality of it is what it is right, I've kind of always had that mentality. So so, uh, you know, this is before I learned the term embrace the suck you know we'll get into that one.
Speaker 2:Yep, uh, so no, I mean it's. It's one of those things, like anything in life, um, a I knew I wasn't alone, right, and B it's to better myself, so like they're not going to kill me and whatever they put me through, I will survive. And so, with that mentality, I just embraced it. You know, I had a lot of motivation and I was the loudest, I was the proudest, I was, you know, the hardest working, in my opinion, um, just because that was my goal, um, and yeah, so there was no surprises. I mean, it was intimidating, obviously, um, but I, I wouldn't say that I was scared of him.
Speaker 2:I was more or less excited about the opportunity because it was something new, and at that time I had never been in an airplane. You know, I had taken like one big family vacation at the time and that was when I was 16. So just a couple of years prior, we took our first like big road trip across the country. Um, but this is the first time that I've ever been away from my mom, my dad, my brothers and sister, my friends, uh, for, you know, a extended period of time. So that was, that was six months, um, and yeah, so it was. It was a bit of a culture shock right, being with a ton of random strangers and then just having to learn to make it and survive and, uh, you know, coexist Uh. But yeah, definitely a cool experience.
Speaker 1:Anything stick out in your mind for basic training.
Speaker 2:That that, hey, I remember this um, more or less along the lines of, uh, the camaraderie. I mean, I'm sure we're going to talk about camaraderie, uh, in any relationship, but the military specifically, uh, being around a ton of random, you know men and women because we're mps, right, females both serve um, but you know, being in the barracks, uh, it was one of those things where you just you learn to get along right. You quickly learn who's willing to make friends and who's not trying to make friends, and you find your place and your little, your little squad, and you drive on and do you so?
Speaker 1:yeah, cause you're not the only guy that was the oldest in the family, and this guy's not the only guy that was a middle kid. I mean, you know, it's a bigger pond with a lot more fish in it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the funny thing about it too, is like everyone's got stories. So you go to a place like basic training. Everyone's the biggest, the baddest, you know I was the hometown hero.
Speaker 2:I was the quarterback for my high school football team, you name it. Uh, thankfully, I I uh had a little bit more humility where it was like I'm just going to stay quiet and I'm going to do me, I'm going to let these guys talk and then, you know, we'll see what happens when, you know, the rubber hits the pavement. Um, so yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 1:For every person there. There's that, there's a story there is.
Speaker 2:That is a fact.
Speaker 1:So you get, you get through basic training. Um, you know, ever since I've known you, you've been in great shape. So I'm assuming, like you're right out of high school or you're right out of college or you're in good shape, so that's not an issue. You, you graduate and you go to AIT, which is right there at Leonardwood, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was the same spot, yeah, yeah. So I joined when I was 19. Um, and I played hockey, you know, my entire life. I was always in decent shape, but I was never what I am now. I was about a buck 50, buck 55, soaking wet. Oh, so you were a little guy. I was a little guy, yeah. So I had a lot to prove, because I wasn't, you know, I walk around at 210 now, just consistent, and I fluctuated weight. I used to be a bodybuilder, so I was up to two 45 at my heaviest, you know, lean, and that's, that's just way too big. I can't move, I couldn't, couldn't clap my hands barely, um, but, uh, no, buck 55 when I went in there so I could run like the wind, um, you know, and I, I was, I was strong, ish, but, um, yeah, at a1.55, you're not doing a whole lot.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. So you know, I think a lot of people too think that once you get out of basic training you go to AIT. That's a whole different world. But really AIT is kind of an extension of basic training to a certain extent right, it was exact, it was absolutely an extension of basic training.
Speaker 2:We had the same drill sergeants. There was no like congratulations, you graduated, heck, no, as soon as we graduated, because they have different phases. Right in basic you have red, white and blue, and then in, uh, ait you have. I think it's black and gold. And during the black phase, ait was 11 weeks, mind you. And so, like a couple weeks into our black phase, they did a platoon shakedown and found, like a bunch of chewing tobacco and magazines and contraband that we weren't allowed to have. Obviously, it's not the end of the world, but in basic training, someone's, someone's going to eat it. It feels like the end of the world. It feels like that. They make you feel like it's the end of the world. And so everyone paid, everyone got, you know. We went back to red phase, which is the very first phase as far as the way they treated us, right, um, and so, yeah, here we are, like 14, 13, 14 weeks into training, going back to three hours of sleep, four hours of sleep, having to do firewatch, where half the Bay had to be up cleaning in full battle gear, and, mind you, again, again, we're talking black polished boots on a brand. We. We were in the very one of the newest facilities, so it was brand new, white, uh, tile floor. Um, so in cleaning, you were also marking up the floors.
Speaker 2:It was extremely counterproductive and their psychological games worked. Yeah, by design. By design, yeah, because you had to be. It was one hour on, one hour off, so you had to be up for an hour. Get dressed. You had to be up early, right, because your shift started at you know on the hour. So 10 minutes early, get up, get dressed, make your bed, get all of your gear on, including your IBA, your Kevlar helmet, your gun had to be with you and you're on your knees scrubbing the floor at all hours of the night while everyone else is trying to sleep. And uh, yeah, it's just, it was, it was insane making a bigger mess than you're cleaning up. Yeah, but they, they proved their point. They proved their point.
Speaker 1:No, no more chewing tobacco and magazines in the barracks so did you learn in ait that, uh, military police wasn't just driving on a cop car? I mean, I know they do garrison work, but really, really that's my experience was. I don't. I think I did that once, yeah.
Speaker 2:So garrison work, you know it was about two weeks of the entire six months training operation and I actually did do some garrison work when we were at Camp Grayling for one of our two week exercises. I think it was supposed to be two weeks and it ended up being three weeks. Um, but yeah, I worked for the provost Marshall's office and I got to drive around in the cop car and do all the fun, stop checkpoints and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But uh no, I had no idea that we were primarily a combat function and not that it would have changed anything. I mean, my experience in the military is defined by my combat experience, for sure. Um, so certainly wouldn't change anything. But did I know at the time?
Speaker 1:I certainly did not I think the military is really good at having these great names for these jobs. And then you get to the job and you're like well, wait a minute yeah, it's like congratulations.
Speaker 2:I got sold on this one, no wonder it's like oh, is that why they gave me the signing bonus?
Speaker 1:okay, yeah, anytime someone's willing to give you a ton of money to sign up, that might be a clue that that is not going to be so cool.
Speaker 2:I got a good good story about you know, getting you to sign up for hockey and a tournament that we were. I don't know if I'm allowed to stray, but the absolutely stray away, the tangent. So, like I play a lot of hockey to this day I still play five to six days a week I'm incredibly blessed.
Speaker 1:My wife is a superhero, right she is because she puts up with, she puts, she encourages it.
Speaker 2:Wow, you know what I mean. If there's one thing to be said, um, it is. If there's any piece of advice and I'm sure we're going to get on the advice section but it would be to find yourself someone that you can spend the rest of. That makes you want to dive in on all levels. My wife is incredible in so many different ways. She's my best friend, she's the hardest worker I know, she's an incredible mother and she's very supportive, and in dealing with injuries from combat, she has been my saving grace on many different levels. So she knows that hockey is extremely therapeutic. It's a way for me to exert energy and get frustration out, kind of get my mind off of things and so she's always been very supportive of it.
Speaker 2:But in my Thursday league in Novi, we ended up winning the league and then we got invited to play in the state championship or the Michigan state playoffs. I'm sorry, uh, and so that was this huge tournament. Uh, a lot of semi-pro guys, a lot of college players. Um, we're just a beer league team. Right, we're an a league beer league team, we're a good team. So we get invited to this tournament and, uh, you know, we show up and they're like all right, here's your locker room, here's your game schedule, here's your beer tickets. Um, cause it was at uh, it was at Frazier arena, where the motor city rockers play. So a big turnout, and so we're going into the first game. We just got absolutely obliterated like mercy, nine to nothing, and the game was over by like I don't know three minutes into the third period Did you use up those beer tickets pretty quick after that.
Speaker 2:Well, we realized why we got them. We were the patsies. They needed a team, I'm like. And at the end I ran into some guys that I played with and getting beers. Like how'd you guys do? I was like man, we just got murdered. Like this isn't even, it's not even close. And they're like oh, I was like all right, did you get your drink? He's like no, I'm gonna go buy some in a minute.
Speaker 2:Guys is like what do you mean? You didn't get no beer tickets, as he's like I got. I'm saving all the money I can after what it cost to get in this tournament. I was like you guys paid to play in this tournament. And he's like what you didn't? I said no, he's like you guys got a free ride and beer tickets. I said you know what? I should have asked more questions when we were invited. But every game was like that. I think it was like a seven to two loss and, uh, an eight to three and then, uh it, it was vicious. We had no business, but it was a lot of fun and that was another embrace, the suck moment, but it was funny. It was like asking questions like yeah, why did we get these beer tickets and how come it didn't cost us anything to come play?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'd, I'd, I'd scratch my head a little bit, that was funny though Sorry.
Speaker 1:Sorry to stray on that one, but not at all, and I just I don't want to lose this moment either. When you talk your wife, um, I remember, uh, there's a guy, g gordon liddy, who's this really tough guy. I mean he's, he's uh, um, cia special ops is really tough guy. But he said, uh, the importance of finding someone, um, is not finding someone that you can live with, but finding someone that you cannot live without, and there's a big difference in that. That's a fact. It's a difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. Yep, right, so let's go back? Sure, let's go back. So you get done with basic, you get done with AIT. You come home, yep, so what was?
Speaker 2:that like, well, you know, really not too crazy, because I wasn't home for that long prior to deploying. I wasn't home for that long prior to deploying, um, so I graduated March of oh six and uh came back and we got orders in June. So it was, it was really quick, uh, to get the news and then kind of set up all of the arrangements. Um, you know, and I wasn't married at the time, I was, I was dating a girl that I'd been seeing for years and, um, yeah, so we got the orders and, uh, all the friends were, you know, oh, no, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:And you know, I'm like, all right, well, this is, this is my job, this is what I signed up for. I guess, here here we go. Um, it just happened a lot faster than what I had anticipated, right, and so in June we get the call, um, and we started getting everything ready, and then it was July, we went to to Grayling for a couple of weeks and then, after Grayling, we went to Fort Dix, and after Fort Dix we went to Kuwait, and then from Kuwait we went into, uh, mosul, iraq, and um, that that whole pre-MOB, I want to say, was roughly three months.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not 90 days 90 days 90 days from the time we left in July to the time we jumped in October.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, so and it was fast, right. So, and the funny thing about my pre-MOB is, you know, the second platoon's mission at the time was detaining operations. So the entire time that we're going right, the rest of our company is all slotted to be, you know, combat, arms and patrol and training their record police and all the bad-ass stuff. And you know we're we're fighting to be cage kickers.
Speaker 2:Um, there was a lot of animosity in my platoon simply because there's a lot of correctional workers already in my, my platoon that were like, man, I didn't want to do this, I already do this for work, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, so that was the deal. So I was uh slotted to do detainee ops. We did all of that training and then, uh, at towards the end, we all had to be certified in either a driver or a gunner and what have you? So my uh platoon leader, uh, lieutenant moon, awesome man. Um, I was his driver, right. So I, you know, wherever he had to go, I kind of had, like, because I was a lieutenant's driver, I kind of had a I don't know what you want to call it Privileges, right, where I was, like you like to do things.
Speaker 1:Other people didn't get to do yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, that's, that's a, that's a fact, right, I got to go here, all right, well, but that was great. But it was like towards the end. It was towards the end where I just nothing sat right. I didn't feel like I was supposed to be a driver. None of it felt comfortable, especially when we're doing the you know the operations where we're driving in. We got to go respond or whatever the mission is. Nothing felt right. And so it was like it was like two weeks or like a week before we were supposed to leave, where I pulled him aside and I was like you mind, if I speak freely, he's like what's up? I'm like I'm not supposed to be a gunner. And he's like I don't know what you mean. I was like I'm not supposed to be behind the wheel, I'm supposed to be in a gun. He's like we're a week out before we deploy and you're just now telling me that you don't want to drive. I was like I'm telling you that I shouldn't be driving, I need to be in the gun. He's like okay, uh, then I guess you know you can try and test out. He's like you think you could do it. I was like I have no doubt that I can do it. So he's like, all right, well, he's like I'll get you signed up.
Speaker 2:And, you know, talked to gary, my best friend, just so everyone knows. Uh, gary lee queen was the first person that I met at fort dick, standing in formation with the rest of the company that you know, a bunch of people that I did not know. Yeah, uh, nervous, obviously new situation. And uh, he is standing directly to my right and all of a sudden I feel water on my boot. I don't know this dude, right, I don't know this dude, right, I don't know this dude, I just I. He's squirting water from his camelback onto my boot and I'm like, dude, knock it off, right. And he's like all right, yeah, yeah, gotcha. All of a sudden the water starts again and I'm like what are you doing? He's like hi, I'm Gary. I'm like, oh man, I was like what's up? And he's like hi, I mean like hi. I mean that was, that was the start of our, our friendship. You know, to this day, one of my best friends, um he had a special attitude like he.
Speaker 1:There was just I don't know that dude is a gift yeah, I don't even know how to describe it. But he just like, he just made you feel welcome, yeah, like everything was going to be okay. That is a fact.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, I remember him really well yep, and I'm I'm fortunate that you know he was the one to my right that day squirting water on my boot and, uh, do you think there's coincidences? No, not at all. I think it's God's plan. Yeah, Uh, and I I'll get more into that in detail Um, no God has worked so much in my life with the people that he's put in my way, uh, to help lift me up in in times where, um, you know that I was down, I mean Gary, I've I've lost a lot of friends to suicide and Gary knew that I wasn't all right, uh, on the last one, and he drove five hours from Kentucky. No, ask, no, nothing, he, just he knew and he just showed up at my doorstep. I'm getting to your ride right now.
Speaker 1:I'm just talking about it Um no-transcript.
Speaker 2:Nothing that he doesn't know about me and vice versa, because we have that man in the mirror merit, man in the mirror relationship, um, and it's just pretty awesome. Sorry, I lost track no worries.
Speaker 1:So Gary's dumping water on your feet's so dick's a place that goes up to its name and uh, yeah, I know, tell me about it.
Speaker 2:Um, but literally from that moment, I mean we were, we were joined at the hip and we were paired up. I mean we were uh, bunk mates and and leonard wood, we were roommates in iraq. Uh, we were the two lead gunners uh, in our, in our squad. Um, we were the platoon sergeant, platoon leader and squad leaders. You know right-hand men constantly had you know other objectives and orders trying to fulfill that kind of role, and I mean it was a blessing, it was a privilege. You know I had met so many incredible people, especially, you know, jeff Jennings, who's a an incredible mentor to me to this day, still one of my best friends. I mean I could talk about that man for hours, um, and the way that he's impacted my life for the better and, um, yeah it's just.
Speaker 2:It's funny because now that we're going over this I mean I took notes prior to this, but it's like you start reliving the memories. I could sit here and just ramble on about the different stories during that time frame that we're speaking of. No, but Gary absolutely is a gift. He's incredible, his family's awesome and, like I said, we're still best friends to this day. So that was the first person I met at Fort Dix and we became roomies and we lived together after the army and, uh, you know, started families together and worked at the prison together and, um, he's doing incredible right now, so I'm really happy for him.
Speaker 1:Well, that's good, that's good to hear. I mean, I haven't talked to a lot of guys in a while. It's a handful that I still keep in contact with, but, um, no, and I think you make those kinds of friends when you're in the military, right? Yeah, especially the things that you go through when you're when you're doing that. So, um, everyone survived Fort Dix. Uh, we get on the plane. You head over to Kuwait. Talk to me about what that was like.
Speaker 2:Uh, kuwait was. You know, if you're talking about the five senses, kuwait was just hot, it was a, it was a hairdryer blowing in your face. The second that you got off the airplane with your head in an oven. With your head in an oven Uh, yeah, that's, that's a great way to describe it and um, and windy, and the sandstorms. You know, I had never seen a sandstorm, obviously.
Speaker 2:And, um, I just remember being at air of John and I forget where we were going from. We had, like it was probably one of those um, uh, um, the language classes, right, just going from class to class and we were walking out, heading from one spot to the other, and then you had all of our water just sitting there baking in the sun and the plastic bottles that tasted like plastic. And, uh, I remember looking behind me and it was just like hazy, like what is? What is that? Everyone's like, what the hell is that? You know, none of us had seen it before.
Speaker 2:And then, all of a sudden, you saw people running and you're like, well, what are we running from? And they're like they're pointing to the haze. I'm like, well, what is it? They're like sandstorm. I'm like, uh, okay, so we all just started running and I found a porta potty and I show myself in the porta potty and all of a sudden it was like it was like a sandblaster hitting the side of the porta potty. Um, I forget how many people we shoved into that thing just to stay out of it and get it out of our hair, um, but yeah, it was wild. It was literally a wall of sand that was coming for us.
Speaker 2:I mean we have tornadoes and hurricanes in the States and this and that, but we don't have sandstorms like that, at least not that I'm familiar with, not from michigan, no, no, maybe down in arizona, some place like that, but certainly not in michigan, no. And so so, yeah, those uh were some crazy experiences, um, but yeah, I just remember it being hot. That's, I mean, the biggest thing from kuwait. There was no real threat in kuwait, but it was just. It was just.
Speaker 1:Right, it was all. It was all about getting acclimated to that, to that heat, um so how long? So how long were you in Kuwait?
Speaker 2:Uh, two weeks, I believe it was. It wasn't that long, two to three weeks Right.
Speaker 1:And then from there, uh, you climb on. What a C one, 30 C one 30.
Speaker 2:And, uh, we, we just start taking off to Mosul, they strap us in. And that's kind of when you get the real feel like we're heading in. I mean, you're in your full, full combat gear with your rifle between your legs, um, and you're strapped and strapped and everybody's, left to right, people are taking pictures, talking you know this and that, and, uh, we take off. And the flight wasn't that long from what I remember, um, but what I do remember is that downward spiral that they gave us the combat landing. Yeah, the combat landing. I'm talking like everybody, and their mother was like what in the hell is going on, right? And then it's like a straight nosedive and then just a veer off into a landing. So that was absolutely memorable.
Speaker 2:But stepping off the plane, you'll never forget the smell of Iraq. It smelled like burning trash and the worst part is that you get used to it. I mean that's the honest truth. I mean it's hot, it's again another hairdryer in the face kind of deal with your head in the oven, but now you've got the sinuses just a burning, and everyone's thinking it, but no one's saying anything about it because it's not going to make anything better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're there, you're there, Congratulations.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Iraq.
Speaker 1:Right. In fact, isn't there a sign at Mosul Airport that says welcome to Mosul?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, oh yeah, getting off the plane, yeah.
Speaker 1:Thanks, I feel greeted Right Right.
Speaker 2:So we got there and did you get your sleeping assignments right away? I mean, how did everything work when you got there? I'm pretty sure we got our sleeping assignments pretty quickly. You know, just like anything else, when you've got that large number of people gathering in a specific area for a specific thing, all getting specific assignments, I mean there's obviously a time frame that it takes to get done. I mean there's obviously a time frame that it takes to get done, but I mean our coordinated efforts between leadership and you know the base I thought was pretty dang smooth. To be honest with you, I don't remember any issues. It was just you got to go here now and you're like okay.
Speaker 2:I got to go here now, okay, and you did what you're told, and everyone did their part and, before we knew it, we all had our we stayed in shoes right is that what they're called your soldier housing units, containerized housing units. Yeah, it was a glorified connex box with, uh, an ac unit and a window in a door.
Speaker 1:But I'll tell you what I'm thankful for that ac unit, because there's a couple times that it went out, you know oh, yeah, made you very thankful for for having it um, and one of the things that people might not know too, is when, if you've never experienced this before, at least the way it worked there was that there's a unit that you're relieving, and so there's a period of time where you have two complete military police companies or whatever occupying the same area when you're doing your left seat, right seat and handoff, and and so once you got there, you got your stuff moved in. Um left seat, right seat started up pretty quick, didn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to say it was. It was within days, um, you know, and at first it was uh, it was just the, uh, the line leaders and uh, I don't know what we had going on while they were out there doing their thing probably basic, you know, maintenance, finding our vehicles. Now, mind you, we didn't even discuss the fact that when we got there, like my mission, according to my up, my upline was that we're still detaining operations, right? So second platoon got all the busted vehicles. We got an ASV that didn't have an engine in it. We were supposed to be on base and not leaving base and that was not the case.
Speaker 2:When we got there, we were given different assignments that we are, in fact, you know, one of the four platoons that were controlling sector and training the Iraqi police, and you know that's our mission, and so obviously we're all super excited about it, but we had not trained for that the entire time. I mean, we did, but not to the same extent. I mean we had to team operations in addition to. So I guess, go us, we got more schooling, but we we learned on the fly very quickly, and if there's one thing that I can say about the military force is that we're resilient and you know we all became mechanics very quickly, we all made friends with, you know, the motor pool staff very quickly.
Speaker 2:Um, you know, aside from getting the vehicles up and online so that we could actually perform our mission, I mean, like we didn't have up armor on on everything yet. I mean, my turret was. It was just a spin along turret with a shield in front and that was it. There were no sides. Um, so, so again, like I said, I mean I went half the deployment like that. Um, thankfully, uh, thankfully I got my glass, because I took a round to it not too long after getting it. Again, another coincidence right.
Speaker 2:Listen, man, I'm telling you God is good man and I will. You will hear that you know from me so many times. And before I keep going, I have to mention my uncle Dean. You know we talked about the incredible people in our lives. My Uncle Dean is the one that led me to Christ. Back in high school he actually opened up a youth ministry called Raw Ministries and that was the first time that I'd ever experienced the Lord's presence and he had prayed for me and I was a kid and everyone can use some guidance and some prayers.
Speaker 2:And I panicked, man, I didn't know what the heck was going on. I was shaking and I was crying and I ran out and you know I was like let them go and I battled with it. I didn't know what the heck was going on. I went out and bought a Bible and I'm not the greatest Christian I can attest to man. I love Christ. I know where I come from and I know what to expect when I'm gone. So it's passing on that love and just living a life of gratitude, faith, hope and love. Um, really really says a lot about who I am, in my opinion, and I have my uncle Dean to thank for that.
Speaker 1:So before we go, I just had to mention that. No, and I think that, uh, given the experiences over there, that was probably a pretty important part of your life.
Speaker 2:Without a doubt. I mean, you know we keep talking about the uh, you know the coincidences that are not coincidences. I mean there's so many, there's so many reasons and situations on our deployment that I should not be alive today. And so when I say that it's easy for me to live a life of gratitude, it's because, like, there's a lot of reasons why I shouldn't be here today. I've got a beautiful wife. I've got two amazing kids. The best occupation that I've ever held, or best title, has been dad. You know to hear my kids hey, daddy, daddy, daddy. And, don't get me wrong, like, being a parent can be a lot sometimes. But if there's one thing that I've learned, the army will teach you a lot, the military in general will teach you a lot, but there's also a lot of things I had to unlearn in order to maintain healthy relationships, especially with my wife. You know, being a good partner, everything can't be dressed right, dressed 24 seven, with roles, responsibilities, obligations, and if you mess up like there is grace right.
Speaker 2:So it's. It's one of those things. She's incredible. Again, I could just go back. Her patience and and putting up with me and, um, the things we've accomplished together is again something that I'd hope for everyone else to be able to experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so but no, the military life. As soon as we got on to the left seat, right seat, um one, I remember, I remember well. First let me paint the picture. There was two bases right in Mosul. You had Diamondback and Fab Merez, and so we were fortunate enough to be on Merez, which were all new, you know, connex buildings, blah, blah blah. Diamondback had the airfield and the better chow hall, so to speak. According to the people that lived there or were there already, I think it was self-proclaimed. I never hated our chow hall, I liked it personally.
Speaker 1:Neither did I. A little history on our chow hall, though, is the Christmas before we got there, someone had come in there with a suicide vest and blown that chow hall up. Yeah, so it was brand new and security was really tight there. No, I never. I mean, yeah it was, it was good food, and when I hear people talk about some of their experiences I feel guilty. I know about, about how we, how, how we were, but anyway, I don't want to no, you're fine.
Speaker 2:Well, to that, to that point, right. So diamondback was kind of like the makeshift base. At the time it was the first one established and so like that was just a lot of old buildings that they had turned into barracks. Um, you know, they had the px and commissary uh, so like they had that going for them. But our base was new, so everything like made sense in its layout and we had an mwr and I mean you remember that we were playing guitar and uh, and a lot of great experiences, um, but yeah, so the the layout of of the base was was whatever.
Speaker 2:We were actually pretty close to the chow hall too, so that worked out well. Um, you know, for those that don't know, your bathrooms obviously are not in your room. So, uh, it's uh, I don't know. There was a lot about the lifestyle on deployment that I'm grateful for. Um, you know, we had a. We had, in my opinion, a lot of amenities, um, so we were blessed in that aspect. I do want to ask you this question, though.
Speaker 1:So, um, yeah, our, our, our bathrooms were not co-located with our, with our two. So, um, I don't know if you ever did this, but, like in the middle of the night, you had this battle with yourself yourself. You've been drinking water all day long.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you really got to take a leak?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, but you're like laying there going. I don't want to get up and put all this stuff on to go take a leak. So how many?
Speaker 2:bottles of water, did you save?
Speaker 1:How many?
Speaker 2:empty bottles did you save.
Speaker 1:Oh, a lot, a lot, because I got tired of. Filled up a lot of Gatorade bottles, a lot of.
Speaker 2:Gatorade bottles, yep. And then in the morning you said to go and empty those things out.
Speaker 1:There was no maid service there, Nope that's a fact. Okay, I'm not the only one. No, no, that was absolutely a, thing, yeah yeah, so I mean we were blessed to be where we were at. I don't know if you noticed. Originally we were supposed to be in Restomaya, 26th was. Oh really, yes, I was not familiar with that.
Speaker 1:And they changed our mission, which is which is one of the reasons why your mission had changed was, um, because we had we had changed missions from Restomaya to, uh, Fab Merez, Um, and so that changed the whole dynamic of of what we were doing. And then, as we were landing in Kuwait, things were changing the whole time and um, so it was very frustrating from every level and, I know, extremely frustrating for the people on the ground, thinking, hey, here's what we're going to do and it all changes. Um, anyway, we get there, we're blessed to be in this place and uh, yeah, like you said, it has all the amenities that you can want. So you start your left seat, right seat, I was sitting behind the driver.
Speaker 2:We were going out into town and I don't know if we had a specific objective rather than just go out and look at IP stations and kind of familiarize ourselves with it. But in the middle of it there was a fight that had gone on and just a lot of smoke. There was a big bomb that went off. It was probably a V-bit, I'm not sure the details at this moment, but anyways, we all diverted right. So we're looking out and we got Kiowas up in the air and they're circling around the area. So that's where we're going and I can just remember the sound of the Humvees revving the engines and switching gears and merging through lanes of traffic. And you just kind of own the road when you're there, like it's wild how you just take it over and oh, okay, this is what we do now. Mind you, the landowners at the time were a striker unit, okay so, and they were from Hawaii, um, or no, alaska, I think they're from Alaska.
Speaker 1:I think they were.
Speaker 2:Yep, um and uh, and so I'm, I'm sitting behind the driver's seat. You know, the gunner's out there, he's spinning around, he's doing his thing, and we're hopping curbs and we're going here, we're going there. I look out the window and there's this Kiowa that's just circling around. Now we're close, right, and he comes up and I mean I can feel the wind from the propellers coming through the turret, hitting me inside the truck. And as I'm looking out there, he goes up, he flips on his side and he's completely perpendicular with the ground now and he drops a smoke bomb to mark the location of where we got to go. And I'm like, huh, that's kind of cool. Right, purple smoke starts coming up.
Speaker 2:Well, all of a sudden, the striker unit comes through, ripping ass, stops right in front of us, the back hatch comes down and about 11 badasses just get out and start running, just running into this building, and I'm like, what in the heck is going on? Right, I'm talking when I say like intense, they were intense, like to the definition, but that's how we learned to fight and, uh, in a lot of ways that probably saved our lives, you know, because our, our, uh, the way we handled situations wasn't to. I mean, you rolled through, you know, bombs to get a safe perimeter and this and that, but when we took fire we stopped and we fought. And I don't think that they were expecting that because you know we our platoon specifically had a lot of small arms fire and action. I don't know. I mean we were absolutely a force to be reckoned with out there, but I think it was because of that intensity that that's just how we handled ourselves and you know it definitely paid off and saved lives, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, and for all the comforts that you had on the fob, it was outside. The wire, was not a friendly place to be, and this was during the surge too, which successfully pushed a whole lot of enemy up into our neck of the woods, which intensified the work that we were doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you, when we sat down with the people that we were taking over for, and you go through like this whole routine, right, everyone that's there is like leaving. So they're trying to pawn off all of their belongings on you, like, oh, I got this TV and I got a PlayStation and whatever. But you sit down and you start having some heart-to-hearts with people and it gets real. They lost friends and they're giving you life advice while still smoking and joking, trying to make you laugh Because the place you're at sucks. But they're excited to go home and not everyone was so fortunate.
Speaker 2:I mean, I remember there was a guy that that passed. Uh, he was shot the day. He was like the day before he was supposed to go home. In fact, I don't think that he was supposed to roll out that day. Something happened where they needed him and, um, I mean, but that's just, that's the nature of the beast, especially when you're, you know, in that kind of situation, when you're called, you're called um you know and the five, 49th had a hard time that that's the unit that we leave because they lost, uh, they lost a platoon leader.
Speaker 1:Um they, they lost quite a few folks during that deployment, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Um, you know, and and obviously I don't want to dwell on it too much, but we learned a lot from them and when we're first cab took over it was a completely different situation and scenario. I didn't feel like we had nearly the support that we did with. You know, I was at the 89th. I don't remember what the unit was. So the 89th was the brigade the right, the overall brigade for MPs, yeah, but I don't remember the striker units.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Cause they were kind of in and out of their tropical lightning, wasn't it.
Speaker 2:They're tropical lightning. Yeah, it was actually that first idea. I don't remember what it is off the top of my head. I know we get to wear their patch, but, but, um, anyways, you know, long story short.
Speaker 2:Uh, I held a couple of different titles or positions when we were, you know, when we established and we added um control of our Iraqi police stations. Um, in our, in our general mission, um, I was a gunner, I was the platoon leaders, personal security detail. I was also the fourth man in the stack for breaching, so I carried a shotgun in addition to my M four, my uh, my M nine, my, my handgun, um, and then I was also had the 50 Cal on the gun on the truck. So I had a lot of different responsibilities. I felt I was a lot, I was very well-rounded and I was thankful for it too, because I didn't have to do the same thing. You know, over and over and over, it kept an interesting but, as I had mentioned before, you know, being the platoon leaders, um detail and being, uh, you know, sergeant Jennings, uh, go-to guy, me and Gary, uh, I had a lot of other responsibilities in addition to just being a Joe.
Speaker 2:So, while most PFCs were out there, you know, doing their bare minimum or not bare minimum, but you know what I mean, though doing what's expected, absolutely, absolutely, you know. And then going back, we always had something else that we had to work on following to help push them forward. I mean, in my opinion, our jobs were easy, because it was more or less just paperwork or running errands, whereas, you know, uh, moreau and Anderson and Jennings and yo kind, all of them, like, they still had to be up and they were planning for the next day. I mean, I remember I can't even tell you how many times like I'd be like three in the morning and I'd have to go to the bathroom and Moreau is just out there because she couldn't sleep, you know, and she's planning for the next day, or whatever the case may be.
Speaker 2:Um, I know a lot of bad asses. I know a lot of bad asses and, uh, I'm thankful for them and their leadership and the way that they handled themselves and conducted themselves, cause there's a lot that went on that we were completely unaware of, right, um, you know, and uh, just like a, a parental figure, you know, they kind of shielded us from what we didn't need to know, kept us in the loop of what we did need to know and conducted themselves in such a professional manner that we were never the wiser.
Speaker 1:I think the key to good leadership is that the people that you're working with don't know all the stuff that they don't know. That's right, and it can be frustrating too, because sometimes people don't understand why am I doing this? Right? But there's a whole reason behind a lot of that stuff. So you get the left seat, right seat done, the 549th pulls out, they go home. Give us kind of a day in the life Now, no, two days were ever the same, let's just be honest but kind of what was your routine, if we can use that word?
Speaker 2:So typically, I think you were supposed to get like six days of missions and then one day of QRF, quick response for us, and that was literally.
Speaker 2:that was usually your, um, your motor pool day recovery day uh, you do your maintenance on your vehicles. It was it kind of ended up to be like a half day's worth of work, right, and at the end you'd get to go and go to the gym or go for a run or go to the MWR we were talking about, where they have games and stuff set up, just kind of decompress. But a typical day, uh, depending on what time the mission was and what the mission was um, you'd wake up, you go to breakfast, um, if you're fortunate enough to get a late start right. And then, um, you, you do your all your pre-maintenance checks on your vehicle, make sure you've got all your equipment tagged and ready to go.
Speaker 2:So for me it would be like my night vision um, three, uh, weapon systems, four weapon systems, um, just having everything accountable, being ready, right, getting getting in contact with your team, making sure that your um, your team leader, has what they need, and then obviously us, jennings, um and the pl and uh, and then you go down to um, to to ops, and you get your, your mission brief right, do your safety, uh, safety checks again. And, uh, I mean us, I don't know about everyone else we said a prayer before we rolled out every single time, every single time we'd gather up in a uh, in a circle, and someone would take the opportunity to to pray for everybody and, you know, ask for a safe, safe mission. And uh, and we'd roll out, we'd do our, our, what do you want to call it? Just, we need the bird, the barrel, or whatever the berm, a couple, couple rounds.
Speaker 2:Make sure your weapon system's firing is firing and then you just go out and do your deal. I mean, a lot of times it was just going to Iraqi police stations and, uh, you know them doing their checks and again, being the lieutenant's detail, security detail, I was always, you know, dismounted. My team leader would go up in the gun, take my spot and I'd go in there and listen to. You know the gibberish of what they were doing, just maintaining the door, looking at alleyways and you know points of entry, just trying to keep an eye on things, keeping it tight, you know.
Speaker 2:But there was a lot of times we were diverted, for whatever reason either a V bid would go off, or another, another squad needed help or assistance, or an IED was going off, or they found one and they had to court on the area. So we were support, you name it. I mean, every, every day was a little different, for whatever reason, and so it was nice that we could be so agile to be on our toes and, uh, as long as I had enough beef jerky and chewing tobacco man, I was good forever, Like you know I'll do whatever you want me to do.
Speaker 1:Give me those two things, that's right. Yeah Well, and also, you know, IEDs, VBIDs, small arms fire, that was a daily occurrence. Daily occurrence. These weren't exceptions Like, oh, we went seven days and nothing happened. It was every day.
Speaker 2:It was every day. And one thing that kept us on our toes is the EFPs were coming up from Baghdad, right, so, and I don't remember what the? Uh the name EFP stands for, the acronym Um, but basically it was, uh, an explosive device with a copper? Um plate at the front of it. So as the IED went off, the copper melted and created this you know molten lava projectile that would literally just go right through your vehicle and, subsequently, whoever was in the way.
Speaker 2:Um, and so we had just heard horror stories of that coming up and, you know, taking a lot of lives from Baghdad on its way, moving North towards us. And, uh, so that definitely kept us on our toes and we had a few of those Um, some of them, you know, destroyed the trucks, but, um, yeah, it was. There was always some kind of new threat. You know whether it was a route that was black at the time or um, you know, just, um, I don't know. There was even a time where we had bounties on our heads because we took down the, the, the commander of the ip station or the district, or whatever you want to call it right.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, just a lot of because you were out there training the Iraqi police force. But there were many times where these guys aren't. They're not your friends, no no. And sometimes they look surprised, like when you showed up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, I think that there's one thing you could say about our company as we followed through. So we said we're going to do something, we're going to do it. And you had our trust until you didn't. And so, you know, when we realized that there was, uh, ammunition being stolen from the police stations and all of a sudden, there's just this you know barrage of small arms fire that we're getting you know hit with, like the coincidences, you know, connecting the dots really wasn't that difficult, no, but when we arrested that guy, uh, all hell broke loose and uh, yeah, they were coming for us hard.
Speaker 2:They actually put us on a no roll status I think, it was like three days, it wasn't anything crazy, um, but yeah, we had to remove all of the um, the markings on our vehicles so that everyone was in unison, whereas before you'd have, like, uh, the platoon number with a dash and then your squad number Right so that everyone could identify whose truck was who from the air Right. And so, yeah, we had to remove all of that kind of stuff. It was wild. It's like wild wild west, you know it's kind of funny.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's the truth. And so, if I'm not mistaken, didn't, didn't suck up platoon. You guys got one of your squads got ambushed at a station.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we got. So there was a. There was a couple different ambushes, but the one that stuck out the most in my head was we were actually QRF. Ok, so it was our down day. We were doing maintenance in the motor pool.
Speaker 2:I was at the gym. I lived my life in the gym. That was my way of decompressing and de-stressing. Um and uh, everyone needs to have their way of de-stressing. I don't care if it's reading, if it's you know, exercise someone, you gotta find your thing Right. Um and so exercise was it for me. I would exercise twice a day most days, uh, to the point where it was probably super counterproductive for actual fitness, but it was great for my mental health. Um, but no, I was, uh, I was at the gym. I remember this.
Speaker 2:I was actually working out with one of the special forces guys. His name was Sonic and, uh, they always had the coolest names. They got to wear beards and uh, you know all the good stuff we were. We did a lot of missions with special forces.
Speaker 2:We had a couple with Delta, primarily because we had females attached to us, and so anytime that they needed to do a search and seizure or a raid, someone had to be there to pat down and search all the females. So we would typically get tasked out and most times they would just take the females and then we would be in the trucks providing some kind of route security. But there was a couple times where we got to be dismounted with those guys and you know we're all at the low ready and you know we're going in and we're, we're sweet and stealth and this and that, and they're just man, they're, they're guns at their side and their, their helmets are cocked back and there's not a care in the world you know turns to see which direction it came from. Um, so it's like you can really tell the difference between who's acclimated and you know who's been there less than a year, right, right.
Speaker 1:And you and not you were that guy at one point. Yeah Right, you're the guy that ducked at one point, but not anymore.
Speaker 2:No, not anymore. Um, you got desensitized to that pretty quickly. Like I said that, that whole, it is what it is, it is. Mentality really kind of shows its face pretty quickly when you come close to death a couple times. But the whole small arms fire, IEDs, all of that became just commonplace for the most part.
Speaker 1:So yeah, but I don't remember where we're at. In regards to oh, you were at the gym working out. You're on QRF, there we go. Here I am. I'm here to help you. There I was.
Speaker 2:All great guards oh you were, so you're at the gym working out.
Speaker 1:You're on qrf, there we go, here I am. So yes, there I was.
Speaker 2:It's all great stories, that's right there I was working out in the gym, um, but yeah, the loudspeaker, the siren, went off and uh, it said black hat 2-1, black hat 2-2. Um, I don't know what the terminology they used was qrf, uh, activated, blah, blah. Before I even knew it, my team had showed up at the gym with our truck and picked me up. I'm in my PT uniform, obviously, and that's how I rolled. I had my PT top on and people needed help and we had to get the hell out of there as soon as we could. So they had my gun ready to go. I just checked headspace and timing to go. I just checked headspace and timing, um, you know, rack some rounds and off we went. Um, but on our way there, um, we, we certainly got ambushed. Uh, there was an IED that went off and then all of a sudden, um, I mean, I'm sorry, let me take back. So we had rolled through this, um, I don't want to call them housing units, but it was. Basically we were. We were pinched from both sides. Where there was was a high rise buildings on both sides, so they waited until we had passed through so that they were shooting at us from behind.
Speaker 2:I was the lead truck, um, lead truck and uh, I'm not proud of this, but I actually didn't have my night vision that day. The team didn't grab it and I forgot to look of this. But I actually didn't have my night vision that day. The team didn't grab it and I forgot to look for it as we were going to roll out. I almost omitted that whole information because it haunts me to this day that I didn't have it, but the reality of the situation is we were looking for muzzle flash and I don't know if I'm allowed to say how many exterminated that day, but there was a lot of them. Um, and when we got the casualty report afterwards, um, you know I was the very lead truck and so you know it was. It wasn't dark, dark I could still see, obviously. Um, but I never fired around.
Speaker 2:And on that day, and uh, actually got a shell casing award for being the most, one of the most composure, because when there's a firefight going on behind you, like, the first thing you want to do is turn around and start shooting. And I didn't. I just I kept it facing forward and I was ready for whatever was coming and thankfully it didn't. But, yeah, that was. That was absolutely, absolutely a memorable day, to say the least, because that's just how it started, with the ambush, I mean, I mean the amount of IDs going off and small arms fire ricocheting off vehicles and even in a in RPG came to skipped off the top of our ASV and we've got video of it all. I mean. So, like, if there's one thing I can say that's kind of cool about my, my time in services, that it was during a time of technology where we actually able to record videos and take pictures and and all of those kinds of things.
Speaker 2:Um, we came out unscathed, thankfully. Um, but yeah, I mean, the pucker factor is real. I mean, you're, you're running out of ammo and you know changing over, you know belts on your 50 and you got people yelling over here, over there and direction and distance and um, but you, you know there's one thing that kind of came through in that moment is that we're all professionals and uh, and that at the end of it, you know it's it's just a series of, you know, checking boxes. Is everyone okay? Is your weapon system online right? What do we need? Who needs?
Speaker 1:all your sensitive items sensitive items.
Speaker 2:Do we need to pass around who needs ammo? So we can, you know, make sure everyone's got what they need before we, you know, continue on, right? Um, but that that ambush came prior to uh, well it, that ambush came as we were responding to a prison outbreak, right and um. So when we got to the prison, there was only a single round that was actually fired. It was an inside job, after looking at it, like hands down, there was a single round that was laying shell casing, laying outside the prison's front entrance. Their entire armory was ransacked with all the weapons and ammo. All of their high value targets were released. There was, there was zero fight that that had, uh, you know, in order to break people out of that prison. But it turns out that a lot of people that were broken free from that prison were the same ones involved in our ambush, right.
Speaker 1:So right, this is the badouche prison yeah, uprising right.
Speaker 2:yeah, so like and uh, which is wild, because we were the qrf, so we weren't, we weren't the ones that were supposed to be in sector that day and we actually beat the people that were at the Cobb, the combat outpost closer to that situation, that station, by like a long time and we got in a firefight on the way in there. So it is what it is. They probably knew better, because the second that we took over that became our responsibility.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, actually, yes, it did our responsibility.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, actually, yes, it did that. We ended up moving, uh, put a squad at a time and yep, so I mean it was two weeks on, two weeks off, or I think it was. Maybe it was a week on, week off, um, but we still had to maintain our initial mission, you know, and training the iraqi police and, uh, you know, combat patrols, you name it. We just lived there now, uh, at least at the time it was one week one off, because we lived out of our trucks, we didn't have tents or Connex boxes. So you know the stories of having to dig holes and burn your own crap and you know, make, make, make shift, uh, bathrooms and you're eating MREs, like that. That was the real deal for us for a while, um, and then they brought out, you know, the, the connexes for us to live in, like, oh, thanks man. Yeah, you know, um, so that wasn't, uh, that was not ideal, you know to say uh, to say the least, but it was what it was.
Speaker 1:And, uh, we were glad to let that mission go.
Speaker 2:That is a fact. As soon as we could pass that off, that was great. One cool thing that happened while we were there, though, is like they had a Bowflex machine, so I still got to work out in right. I mean, it's a little thing, is you got to get your priorities Listen?
Speaker 2:you know, there isn't something. Not every day is great, but there's something great about every day or every situation, and I found my something great in that Bowflex at that time. Another cool thing is, um, you know, being in in Iraq or the the desert, you have some different wildlife, right so camel spiders and scorpions. I was, uh, I remember grabbing the cables on the bow flex and I'm I'm doing crunches and as I'm on the downward, I look down and between my feet I just see like this haze, I'm like what the heck is that? So I just start getting closer and closer and closer and turns out it was a scorpion, right, and the clearer they are, the more poisonous they are. Didn't know that, caught it, though. I found it in the game, got a Gatorade bottles like sweet, take it back. It's like, oh, check out what I got. Like, oh, we just found this camel spider. So naturally we did what any you know civilized military unit would do.
Speaker 1:And we put them in a ring and saw obviously got stung too many times and died, so, uh, that was our entertainment that was the highlight.
Speaker 2:That is a fact. Yeah, no, but yeah, the camel spider was huge. They're, like you know, the size of a softball. And uh, the scorpion, it really wasn't that big. I mean probably four inches long. I guess it's a decent size. Yeah, but I mean, I'm not not scorpion expert over here.
Speaker 1:It's my first ever catching a scorpion no one wants to be the scorpion expert, that's right that's for sure.
Speaker 1:So so you, this guy, this is kind of how the the the whole thing goes um, you know, I know because I was there we didn't, we didn't hit we, we, everybody came home. Yeah, everybody came home, but not everybody came home. Yeah, everybody came home, but not everybody came home in one piece. And that was, uh, that was kind of the hard part of that, yeah, I mean the unit that was attached to us from Florida.
Speaker 2:They lost a guy, um, and I, you know, I remember, uh, I wasn't on the detail, but our, our other squad, was where they had to go out and pick up the, the bodies and the pieces and, um, I know that really messed them up and you know, we were so fortunate to come back in one piece. I mean, we had, we had people that lost limbs, um, from IEDs and gun. You know, it's just, it was what it was, it's, it's part of the deal, um, you know, but again, in that moment, I remember, uh, we got ambushed when we were at an iraqi police station and, uh, you know, an rpg came through the alley and and hit two of our, our, our people, mcculka and marvin, and I was inside with the lieutenant at the time, and so we run out, we see what happened, you know, bodies laying on the ground and, um, and I was just, I was just gonna run right to him and he, you know he's you know, yelled at me get in the truck.
Speaker 2:So we drove around and provided cover in that way. I remember yo laying down suppressifier and uh, me running over and just looking at marvin leaning up against the wall. Mccall was laying on the ground and uh, it was just all right, give him the asv. You know you had norman in there with the ivy bags already ready to go. He was norman, was the guy that you know. He had a. He had binders full of certificates, right, right it was just every school, every school.
Speaker 2:You could possibly go to and the paperwork to say that he did it he's a firefighter. Now right, he's a firefighter, he's a cop, he's an ems tech, he's you name it. The guy has got the credentials he's got another binder.
Speaker 1:He does, he's got another binder for it.
Speaker 2:Um, uh, awesome guy. So you know, I pick marvin up, put him in the truck and they're getting the iv bag going and as I go to grab, you know, lift mcculka up. You know she's, she's, she's a badass, she's, she's a bigger girl, she's probably 200something with the body gear on.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean that armor was heavy as shit as it was.
Speaker 1:She's a literal farm girl.
Speaker 2:Yeah, legit Strong awesome From Ovid or that area.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, and so, you know, I grab her by the IBA, the vest, and I look down to grab her leg and her leg is literally just hanging on by her ACL. I can see the tendon and it's, that's just. That's all that it was. It was just a boot with a string attached to a limb and, uh, I just kind of stood there and looked at it for a second and she's like I looked at her and she's like grab my foot, put it on my chest, get me in the truck. And that was it. You got just bam, bam, pick her up, put her in the truck and, uh, you know, grab the gun laid on suppressive fire and get the hell out of there, take them back to the cache so that they can get, you know, bandaged up and and, uh, and shipped out.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, I mean, that was, that was a hard day, that was, that was one of the more bloodier, uh, more more real situations. I mean the amount of firefights that we've been in and come out, you know, on top, or I mean they're a dime, a dozen, you know. But when someone gets hit, you know, it becomes way more personal, more, way more real. A lot of feelings kind of get opened up and uh, yeah, I mean, but again, like, thankfully, like we're, we're just, we were that close where you know the feelings were good because it made you realize you're human. But it sucks seeing someone that you love get, get hurt, because you really do become family over there. I mean you're relying on each other day in, day out, in good times and bad times. You know you celebrate with people in the good times and you're there for them in the bad times and it's, you know, when you're on a deployment like that, your bad times aren't necessarily something that happened during work hours, right, something bad could go on at home, yeah and um, you know, and people are worrying about you back there and you know, I think a memorable or something that's worth mentioning is that you know I've come from a great family, you know, and one thing that's certain is that my mom didn't sign up.
Speaker 2:You know I signed up and she served with me in that that aspect where she didn't have that choice, uh, but her support was unwavering and well, all of them, you know my dad is included, but, um, but yeah, I mean, she's just. I've said it before, she's incredible, she's my biggest cheerleader, she's always. You know I've always had the support and love and uh and that backing. So especially in those moments it means a lot knowing that you've got the support back home for you to do what you got to do there and that's. It wasn't easy on everyone, but we got through it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely I have to ask a question. So you were there when they put Marvin, because we were in the city. You couldn't do a medevac, they couldn't bring in a helicopter. We did kazevac. Um, I heard that when they put him in the back he looked up at norman and said something about, like, of all the people, of all the people.
Speaker 2:It's you something. I have no doubt in my mind that that is how it went down, you know. But honestly, the funny thing about it is that, looking back, you couldn't have asked for a better person to be in that truck at that time. It just it's just like. Of course it's you, you know so that sounds like marvin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it does sound like him the other thing, too, is that when they got um not to put too fine a point on what a badass mcculka was uh, they got her back to the cache and I remember we were pulling her out of the humvee and she was pissed. But she wasn't pissed because of everything that happened. She was pissed because she had just gotten a tattoo. Oh, I don't doubt it, it ruined it, and it ruined her fucking tattoo, yeah, and she was like do you know how painful?
Speaker 1:that tattoo was right hanging off her, yeah, and she's complaining she's gonna have to know how painful that tattoo was right on the hanging off her. Yeah, and she's complaining she's gonna have to get another tattoo. That's her thing. The other thing was that she had her ipod with her, uh, and that took a shrapnel. Oh, did it, and it still worked. Oh, nice, yeah, keepsake, yeah, a little keepsake for her, but I remember those two stories.
Speaker 1:I know I didn't personally witness uh, marvin say that, but I've heard that oh yeah, nope, I was there, but mcculloch and I were talking as they're getting her out and she was pissed because she's gonna have to go get another tattoo. I'm like you can't ask for better than that. And now we have to ship them off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, um again. You know, thankfully they're okay, but you know the fact that they had to go home. You know that's two family members that are no longer. You know, at your six, you know, ready at a moment's notice having your back, um, and that's uh, and that's, you know, that's something.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, yeah, what was the? What was the rest of the deployment?
Speaker 2:like for you after that. Um, the rest of the deployment, I mean we found something good in all of the times, whether they were good or bad. Um, I say that for certain. I mean you're fully aware, um, of the guitar playing and singing with jennings, and I mean you're the one that advocated for me for a free guitar from martin guitars for crying out loud.
Speaker 1:I can neither confirm nor deny that I talked to martin guitars. I'm trying to tell you, man, that was.
Speaker 2:That was one of the greatest moments.
Speaker 2:Um, to be completely honest with you, because you know it did kind of suck being deployed and all the things uh, when you had that shitty Iraqi guitar you know I was still thankful you played the hell out of it well, that's, and the thing about it is like, you know, that was at the MWR, so it's not like that was like in my possession, right, we'd have to go, I don't know, probably half a mile or something, I don't remember how long the walk was. But yeah, I would spend as much time as I could at the MWR playing guitar and writing music and just kind of escaping. And then all of a sudden, this brand new mini Martin, beautiful acoustic guitar shows up at my door and I'm like what the heck is this? And there wasn't like, there was no to, there was no from, it was just a guitar with my name on it. And uh, and you know, the grapevine got word that you know maybe the, the commander, had something to do with that. And uh, you know, at the the time, no, neither confirming or denying, um, but I most certainly is grateful for whoever that was yeah, um, and uh, it made such an impact, uh, in a positive way for me and the rest of the troops.
Speaker 2:It wasn't just me, you know, I'm just the man behind the guitar, you know, singing with my buddy, but uh, the amount of peace and joy that came to the rest of the squad and the platoon and even people from other platoons that would hear us play would come and gather around you. It's at the end of the day, I mean it's it's like you'd see in the war movies. You know we're sitting around, uh, uh, either it's a little fires to table playing cards. Um, smoking and joking. You got. You know the, the dude off in the shadows playing guitar, with a couple of people surrounded by him singing some songs. And you know, if you were a stranger walking by, most of you wouldn't know what songs they were, but they were jennings and my songs. Like jennings would do a lot of the writing and you know we put lyrics or music to it and then, uh, we cut an entire album. You know, while we were there and I still have it, do you, I do, I do.
Speaker 1:Yep, I still have that album yep and uh, yeah.
Speaker 2:So everyone the black sheep, yeah that's a fact yep, and so everyone in our platoon or company or platoon specifically knew the songs and so they'd sing along and all the good stuff. I still have that guitar. It hangs up in my office as a daily reminder of the good times. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, music is very therapeutic, I think, for people Absolutely, especially when they have a passion for it, like you and Jennings had.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's nice because it's something that anyone can relate to. You don't have to be the writer, you don't have to be the one playing the guitar, but you can still feel the emotion in the lyrics, especially when someone like Jennings writes them. He's incredible for so many different reasons, but his talent of writing is definitely something that sets him apart. You know, the rest of the deployment, um, it was, like I said, a lot of small arms fire, a lot of IEDs, uh, and, as you're aware, um, you know you could only be hit three times with a, uh, uh I don't know if confirmed is the appropriate word, um, or recorded. We'll say recorded uh, blast. After that you get taken out of the gun. And so it was just commonplace where, if you got hit with an IED and no one got hurt and there's no visible marks in the vehicle, like there's no harm, no foul, the reality of it is that there's still, you know, concussive waves that are running through everyone's bodies and damage is being caused. However, you know, on the outside there's no harm, no foul, and you're not about to step out of that gun and leave your team behind.
Speaker 2:Like we talked about earlier, halfway through the deployment, I had got my up armor on my vehicle and thank God, because during that time I want to say it was like June, june or July, and we had left that following November. So I went majority of the time without the up armor, but man, it's just seemed like they kept coming and coming and coming. I remember I totaled a vehicle earlier in the deployment and then, about halfway or so after I got back from my leave uh which the leave going home after being there for so long, I mean you don't just like go home back to normal man. I'm telling you like when my parents picked me up, they were so excited to see me and I was excited to.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm in uniform and everyone's going crazy when you're at the airport and the support and the love and the cheering and the clapping and it's emotional, and the love and the cheering and the clapping and it's emotional. Um, I can still see the tears in my mom's eyes, Um, but you know, on the drive home, my, I was a gunner. All I did was look at overpasses and trash on the side of the road and for strange people on top of buildings or you name it so like. I was so overstimulated on the way home that I passed out. You know, my mom was so kind. She was like oh, you could take the front seat, you know, sit up there with your dad. And so I did and I spent big mistake. I spent the entire drive home with that seat reclined all the way back in, my eyes closed, Cause I just couldn't do it. I almost grabbed the wheel and pulled us off there. I was like what are you doing? He's like I'm fucking driving over here. It's like. It's like how are we supposed to do it?
Speaker 2:brandon's like there's a trash bag right there, he's like, yeah, it's trash, you know, it's like the things you have to separate yourself from combat and war to to peacetime, right, that trash bag is most certainly probably just trash, um, you know, but again, uh, great family, I spent some time up north when I was back, obviously, got to see my friends, um, my girlfriend at the time, but that two weeks went so fast and then I was right back over there, um, probably more anxious to get back than anything because I knew that I was leaving my other family, you know, to fend for themselves, and it's not that they're not capable, it's just that that's my job. My job is to protect that truck and the rest of my squad. Um, so when I got back, um, you know, there was a new influx or a new wave, uh, a lot more IEDs going off, uh, and I got hit again sometime in July, shortly after uh, which totaled that truck and I was probably at like eight or nine IED explosions at the time I was exposed to. And then the following month, in August, uh, I, my truck was down because it had gotten hit. So I took Marvin's truck they were down for a maintenance day or something. And uh took his truck out and we got hit again.
Speaker 2:And it was at that one that I was removed from the gun, because you can't hide you know three blown up trucks, right, uh, and not be recorded so very long, right. And uh, and I didn't even know, uh, how serious it was to, you know, get removed from the truck. But I it came down like hey, you got to go report and you know they sat me down. They're like all right, you've been hit with too many IDs, you can't go, you can't be a gunner anymore, you have to stay on the base. And you got to work a gate and it's not the combat function that I'm used to. So I went from going a hundred mile an hour to checking ID cards and that was a huge ego kick. And not that there's anything wrong with checking ID cards.
Speaker 2:I think that if there's anything you could say about the military is that, at the end of the day, everyone has to perform a role and you're part of a cohesive unit to get a job done Right. And so it wasn't a knock against checking IDs, it was just that I'm used to kicking indoors, I'm used to taking people down, I'm used to, you know being in firefights and you know bombs going off, and now I'm just waking up every day to, you know, sit at a gate until it's time to go home, you know, at the end of deployment and thankfully it wasn't that long, it was only a couple months until we actually run our way out but, but, yeah, the um that from those injuries or from those explosions, I have a traumatic brain injury, um, that has lingered on. Uh, what's the word I want to look for? Not undocumented, but undiagnosed, I should say, because the VA had misdiagnosed me. And that went on for 10 years.
Speaker 2:10 years where they said, basically, I am just consumed with PTSD and it's responsible for all my symptoms that, coincidentally, are directly in line with a traumatic brain injury. Right, right, so the VA actually diagnosed me with my traumatic brain injury but when it came time for disability, they refused to acknowledge their own documentation. And it was tough because I was having a lot of highs and lows, I was suicidal at times and I keep telling you I come from an amazing family. I had all of the support you could say. I was fed with a silver spoon, I never went without, I never had to worry about anything, I never went without love, support, shelter, all of the things. So to have those kinds of thoughts of hopelessness was just insane. If that can happen to you, that can happen to anyone.
Speaker 2:That is a fact. And trauma is trauma. It doesn't have to be, you know, a wartime kind of relationship. Trauma is trauma and everyone's experiences are different and they're they're all valid Right. And I'm going to touch on that more because suicide prevention is at the heart of my advocacy. Now, as I continue to serve after the military, I'm with an amazing organization called Veterans Connected and we'll get into that.
Speaker 2:But the suicidal thoughts and the miscommunication at the VA really kind of set the tone for a lot of struggles and a lot of highs and lows and I'm not sure what the hell was going on. It was a lot of confusion, but it's, it's all part of who I am today basically and I don't know how far I want to jump ahead, but basically, if it wasn't for my military experience, I wouldn't have gotten a job with the department of justice like right out of it. So, going back to it, I removed from the gun, um, we basically demo, but we get back to Fort Dix, we're there for about a month, which was insane that we had to be there for an entire month. I'm sure you had to deal with a long time, a lot more than, yeah, just uh, I remember families calling Congress and just get them home and just right, oh, my goodness, um, but um, yeah, so apparently while we were deployed, uh, jennings Anderson, joseph Pitis, uh, they all worked at the prison, yeah Right. And they're like this is what you're going to do, you're going to apply for this job. I was like, well, I don't want to be a correctional officer. He's like I don't care if you don't want to be a correctional officer. He's like it's a great job and you're not going home with nothing to do. I'm like, okay, so I applied for the job. Right, completely forgot about it, mind you. Like me, gary, a couple other people apply for the job. Um, so I get back, you know, right, and I got straight A's. For an entire year I was on the Dean's list. I excelled, you know. And again, I know I keep going back and forth and jumping, but it's worth mentioning. The military gave me such a foundation for structure that I found my own type of work ethic and held myself accountable. So, you know, I excelled in basic training. I'd I'd get like the perfect, you know PT score.
Speaker 2:I was supposed to get promoted into basic training and I failed map reading. I failed map reading, because I threw my back out and I had to go to sit call. So I missed that day of class, um, and then came back and they're like you have to take the test and if you don't and you fail and you know you get held over and like, all right, well, I don't want that. So I guess I'll take the test. And I failed it. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, right, right, um, so I retook it and passed it after studying, right, like I should have. Uh, didn't have time in the beginning, but it's whatever. So, anyways, they go.
Speaker 2:Uh, you know, my, my upline was like you're getting promoted, you're getting promoted, and they come back like the hell, you failed map reading. Of all things, you failed map reading. I was like I wasn't here for it. I was like I'm sorry, he's like, oh man, that's crazy. So it was what it was, um, you know. But again, like the whole accountability thing, uh, going back to school, getting straight A's, I enjoyed work right In my family. If you were able, you worked. It just was what it was. I've had a job since I was 12, right, and that job didn't have to be anything crazy, but it had to be something to hold you accountable. So at 12 years old I was refereeing hockey.
Speaker 1:So you're back at school and you're a straight A student.
Speaker 2:Straight A student for the first time in my entire life.
Speaker 2:Like I said, the military gave me a new aspect and lease on life when it came to personal accountability, but also after the deployment, like everything else just kind of got easier, if that makes sense, right, life wasn't so much like, oh, I got to get out of bed at eight o'clock so I can get to work at nine, like no, I've been used to getting up at four o'clock in the morning, right, to go get ready for the day, and you know, like, you know, it's how you're sleeping in, right, right, you know, in the military, you know, at 19 years old, you can be responsible for millions of dollars in pieces of equipment, right, and then come back to civilian life and you can't get a $5,000 loan to buy a vehicle to get to work, um, no, but it's uh, you know, and at the time this was 2007, 2008.
Speaker 2:So, right at the the, the midst of the crash, right, right, um. So I got, we got home, uh, I went back to school. I was collecting unemployment because we were allowed to, um, and I went to school, collected that check, and it was like halfway through the winter semester that I don't know what came over me other than like I felt the need to work. So I started looking for work and I found it in a packaging plant in Brighton and I gave up a guaranteed paycheck of 40 hours to make $10 less working 40 hours a week. Not a good trade-off, but I felt the pride I guess.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, it is a part of you that has to do something right?
Speaker 2:Well, for sure, you can't just sit and play a paycheck and, honestly, I partied more in high school than I did in my twenties. Um, you know now that I was in college uh, it was I don't know Again. It was schooling. Right, I didn't like schooling. I was doing it because I was told that it was what I was supposed to do, right, um, so, anyways, I get the job, uh, and I'm laid off two weeks later, right, and I'm like crap, all right. Well, now I'm. Now.
Speaker 2:I like, do I file for unemployment again or do I just go look for more work, since it's the filing process is ridiculous? Um, I ended up just looking for work. I ended up getting picked up right away. Um, the place was like your work ethic is incredible. You get a lot done here, you're just the lowest in seniority and we don't have a choice but to Kenya, All right, so I go out, I get a new job. I start, like, just a couple of days later, right, same kind of factory or same kind of plant, packaging plant, no big deal. Um, I work there, I'm kicking ass. Uh, another two weeks goes by, I'm laid off again and I get the same story. You're the hardest worker, you know. We'd love to keep you. I've already put in words, I've got you know so-and-so out there looking for work for you, because we know that you're the go-to guy.
Speaker 2:I'm like all right, but at this point I'm just defeated, right? I'm working 40 hours to make less money than I was just collecting a paycheck for free. Two up, two down, right, yeah, and so I found myself in the bar. I went to the VFW. I literally it was like we got laid off at like noon and I was like fuck this man. I was like I'm so so done. You know, so I show up and I go to the bar and I'd order a beer and I must've just had this pissed off. Look on my face, cause this, you know, native American dude to my left looked at me like what the fuck is wrong with you? Right, and he's, you know, older and I'm like. I just kind of looked at him like and I shake my head. I'm like man, I am doing everything that I thought I was supposed to be doing. I'm trying to work, even making less money than I would have if I would have just stayed on unemployment and not done anything. Um, you know, I was like I'm actually giving a shit and trying, and I was like and it's just not panning out. And he's like well, can you pass a piss test? I said no-transcript. Um, so yeah, I showed up on monday and I worked my fingers to the bone 12 hours a day, 10 hours on Saturdays, eight hours on Sundays, for $11.25 an hour, smashing my fingers Miserable.
Speaker 2:My hands hurt so bad every morning when I would wake up that I would literally have to unfold my hands just because they were so clenched from grabbing brick all day long and stacking them and sorting them and throwing them on a conveyor belt. And you're working with other people, so as you're throwing them, you're smashing other people's fingers too, and it's just the nature of the beast it was. It was a terrible job. Terrible job made me want to go back to school. I ended up quitting three, three months later. I gave it three months. I gave it the good old tribe Um and uh, I went. I was like I'm going back to school. I was like this is why people go to school. Um, I think God was trying to tell you something. I, I caught wind of it. I, I, I listened very clearly and I was just like yep, you're right, this isn't for me. Um, I got a job at O'Reilly or actually it was Murray auto parts and um, and I was just it was, it was fun, I enjoyed it. I, I actually enjoyed that job.
Speaker 2:Well then I got a phone call from a random woman asking you know, hey, this is Patty Lilly from, uh, fci Milan. Just curious if you're still interested in an interview. I'm like who is this? She's like Patty Lilly. I'm like from where she goes, fci Milan. I'm like what's FCI Milan? She's like Patty Lilly. I'm like from where she goes, fci Milan. I'm like what's FCI Milan? She's like it's a federal prison. I said I applied at a federal prison. She's like listen, do you want this interview or not? And I was like yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like I don't, I just don't remember applying for it. She's like all right, you're going to do this, and so this is what it was for, apparently. Um, but I was a shoo-in, you know, I had a bunch of buddies that already worked at the prison, so it was kind of set up for me from the very beginning.
Speaker 2:Um, and this is another one of those, if I hadn't joined the military, I wouldn't have gotten this job or this opportunity, right, um? So you know, I go to the interview and I'm in a rush, I forget my wallet at home. I got no driver's license to check in and like it's a, it's a prison. You have security, they're checking ID cards and verifying who you are and you're getting searched and you're going through metal detectors and yada, yada, yada.
Speaker 2:Well, I didn't have my driver's license and so they made this huge deal about it. Captain Tony came, this huge deal about it. Captain tony came through. You know I was like well, we're gonna have to call the police because you're driving without a license and that's not a good look when you're trying to apply for law enforcement position and blah, blah, blah, just give me the riot right. And then, all of a sudden, like the entire room busts out laughing because it's me, with seven other people sitting on a board interviewing me and so. So they had a lot of fun with it. And, uh, literally at the end, they're like ah, we're just fucking with you and I'm sweating over here.
Speaker 2:Thanks a lot guys yeah, because it's like you know, this is a, this is a big deal like. This is an opportunity to work for the department of justice at the photo bureau of prisons and one of the greatest you know facilities, uh, in the country. Um, just based on location, right, I mean, it was just down the street, 35 minutes from my house. I didn't even know it existed, to be completely honest with you, um, but now you can't help but notice it every time you drive down 23 South on the way to Ohio. So, uh, I ended up getting a job with the department of justice in 2009. It was July or it was June, sorry, it was June 9th 2009. It's weird how I can remember specific dates for shit.
Speaker 2:That doesn't matter anymore, but yeah, I can't remember, you know the important stuff, but anyways. So I had taken the knowledge and skill sets from the military and transferred over into the you know federal prison system with me and just again put my nose down and I excelled. They said you can dress in this you know polo t-shirt and these pants, or you can wear the dress uniform with the collared shirt and the tie and the nice jacket when your hair done and this and that. And so, you know, I was like, okay, and then Jennings looks at me and he goes you will wear the button up shirt with the tie, with your hair done and the polished boots. And I said, yes, sir. So that was, that was my mentality and that's just how I rolled.
Speaker 2:So, because I was their go-to guy almost immediately, um, you know, I fast tracked, I was given the shit assignments because they knew I'd do it Right. But because of that, I promoted and you know I had, uh, I had a resume that I had built because of it. Um, shortly after joining, you still had to go to training, right? So I went to training at I should back this up Before I had gone to my training at FLETC, federal Law Enforcement Training Center in Savannah Georgia. I was actually slotted to go to WLC Warrior Leadership Course at Fort McCoy, wisconsin for the Army, because we're guards.
Speaker 1:So I'm still working both.
Speaker 2:Right, so. So for three weeks I had to go to, uh, fort McCoy, wisconsin, and then I would come home for one week and then go down to Savannah, georgia, for another three weeks, um, and so, when I was at Fort McCoy where leadership course is the course that you go to in order to be eligible for your sergeant stripes and uh, just coming off a fresh deployment, like I didn't care, I was getting out, right, I, I'm done, my six years, uh was enough for me and uh, and, mind you, like you know, majority of the time that I was in it felt like it was, majority of it was active, right, I mean, between the basic and, um, was it 15 to 18 months of training and being on deployment, and then when we came home, it seemed like there was no two weeks anymore, it was three weeks when you were in Grayling, and then there's, I don't know, humanitarian missions and whatever, um, so, yeah, but I, I went there and immediately was designated the uh, the class leader, right, so, um, and that was I don't even know how that all came about like it was just like, all right, who's gonna be the class? And everyone pointed at me. I was like, and I haven't talked to any of you guys like what is this? Um, but you know again, uh, a calling whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 2:Um and uh, during that time, uh, you're going through your, your school work and you're doing, uh, field training exercises, just being tested on leadership abilities, how you're going to conduct yourself, making sure that you're, you know, checking all the boxes.
Speaker 2:Um, you're following instructions, but actually listening to the instructions, because there's a lot of you know trick scenarios where, like, you're going into a safe village where you have a lot of friendlies right and almost every single you know unit that would have to advance on that area was coming into, low, ready, and you know, we're making our way, being stealthy and bounding over watch, and we're knocking on doors and then the guy comes out hollering, screaming, and then the, the, the, the group leader, the instructor, was like we told you this was a friendly village and you've got everyone pissed off Cause you came in all hot, you're like ah, you know there's a attention to detail scenario, um, but during the entire thing, you know, I kind of had this false motivation going on, where it's like I didn't want to be here but I knew I had to be here, so I need to make the best of it.
Speaker 2:And um, so, yeah, I was loud, I was excited, we, we had fun. Um, the field training exercise. I just remember being on base or you know, in our shoe area, and I told my buddy, I was like I have to go take a piss. And I was like watch my gun. Right, it's pretty common and standard if you're on base and you're deployed, not a big deal, watch my gun, I'm gonna go pee, I'm gonna come back, I'll grab my rifle.
Speaker 2:Well, when I came back, my rifle was gone. I'm like I asked the guy. I was like where'd it go? He's like you said that you laid your life, your rifle, just laying around. I was like, no, I gave it to you. He's like I know, dude. He's like I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. I'm like all right, so I find him and he is just chewing my ass. You can't just leave an unattended rifle laying around. He's like I was an insurgent and I came through and I just took your rifle and he's like you know, telling me that you're on a secure installation.
Speaker 2:You walked into my barracks where I sleep as an insurgent, took my rifle and just decided to walk about with it. I was like that doesn't sound like a very viable scenario. And I was just like this is a safe zone. And so I did what anyone does in these actual situations and passed off my rifle. I took a piss. I came back, you know, it is what it is. I said the scenario you're presenting isn't a real thing. I said not, at least in my experience. I said I'm not here to argue with you. I was like, but it doesn't, you know these things, these don't. Two and two isn't adding up to make four here, right, and um, and he wasn't trying to hear it. So I had to stand outside for about four hours with my rifle over my head saying that I left my rifle unintended and it was what it was. And I was the loudest about it. You know, and everyone knew that. You know I'm, I'm not the guy you know that's, you know the, the careless type, right, um, but whatever, I played their game and uh, and it was what it was.
Speaker 2:And we went out and we did the field training exercises and we led and teams and this and that, and you know, during the whole time there was people being quizzed on all the information that we were being taught and, uh, but no one in our squad was getting you know the q and a's like that from their leadership. And so when we got back from our field training exercise, you know we're all sweaty, nasty, we've been in the field forever. And um, they're like, hey, you make us, you need to go up, uh, and test out. I'm like, what does that even mean? And I was like, well, you gotta go. You're our, you're representing our, our platoon, as you know, the honor graduate. I'm like is that why all these guys are getting tested and questioned? And you know, by their leadership? You know, recite this. What's the answer to this? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He goes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like you never thought once to make me throw me some questions If you're going to have me do this he's like and during the entire time, like this is the same guy that made me hold my rifle over my head for four hours and um, he's like, no, he's like. He's like you may not like me. He's like you're not supposed to be quizzed, you're not supposed to be any of these things. He's like if we're going to do it, we're going to do it the right way. He's like if you're going to win, he's like you're going to do it the right way.
Speaker 2:In my mind, you know, I'm like whatever dude, you know, I was like, yes, sergeant, it went about there and I'm all sitting down and I look like a bag of ass. I am dirty, I am sweaty, I am disgusting. Um, you know, and and I didn't have all the answers, I didn't uh, to be honest with you, I didn't much care, I wasn't trying to impress anybody, I was just trying to survive and get everyone else, you know, through the gauntlet, you know, unscathed, and I gave it, you know, the best that I could and the answers that I didn't know. I was like, sir, sergeant, I don't have that information for you. I said, but I will find out and I will, you know, get back to you. And it felt like that was my answer for a lot of things, but apparently I hit it out of the park because at the end I actually took the top award out of 150 students. I graduated first in my class and received all three distinguished awards the distinguished honor, graduate commandant's award, first sergeant's award, and I think there's one more sergeant majors award, I don't know, there was three. But I was completely taken back. I never once expected that I had the highest score in the entire entire company. Um, especially when my mindset was like you know, forget this, but apparently it was one of those things where you know whether or not I cared. I really did give a shit, because it wasn't about me, it was about everyone else that I was leading Right. So so the false motivation, I guess, must've paid off. It got me just enough attention to, uh, to, to write the. I don't know what you want to say. It was an incredible moment to be recognized like that. But, like I said, I then went home for a week and then had to go right back to Fort Leonard Wood, or not Fort Leonard Wood, to Fletcy in Georgia, and same thing.
Speaker 2:It was another three weeks of me not wanting to be there but needed to be, and so we sit down in class who's gonna be leadership? Same, exact, everybody points to me you had a red team and a blue team and I was the leader of the blue team. Um, and uh, same same kind of deal took first in class and, um, I get like the top shot or something like that. Me and me and my buddy were actually we tied for the highest marksmanship. That was. That was another. You know, that was a gravy walk, I mean, because you only had to work till five and so like.
Speaker 2:At this point now it's a vacation, you know, I got the evenings to myself, we had a great dining facility, but yeah, the whole, the whole thing about that was just that, my mentality. You know, if I would have been sent to those courses as a 19 year old prior to joining the military, there's no way that I would have scored the way that I did or had the attitude that I did or excelled in the way that I did. But the military set me up for some personal accountability and um, and really helped push me into being the person that I am today. Um, and I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, um, but I do care about. You know a lot of things and, uh, it really has helped me develop personally and professionally, and not only uh business, but also the nonprofit work and helping others Right. So the the lessons that I learned helped me to continue serving and make a difference in people's lives, and I think that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1:No, it is, it is and you're, you're right at 19,. You wouldn't have had the patience to do that or the the understanding that sometimes you have to suck it up. Yeah Right, yep. So tell me something. I want to shift gears a little bit. Tell me about how you met your wife, cause you were dating someone prior and you came home. Clearly, that didn't work out.
Speaker 2:No, uh, and again, god's plan. Uh, she's, she's a great person, she's got a beautiful family, um, and I wish her nothing but happiness. Uh, it just didn't work out for us and that's fine. Uh, so it was like August 17th. Uh, I was actually at a wedding for a buddy's sister, right, and it was. It was local, it was just down the street, it was at a local venue, but the wedding ended at eight o'clock. Now, mind you, I'm 22 years old. Uh, fresh, you know, it was a. Was it 22 or 21? No, I must've been 21. This is 2000. Uh, this is 2007. So this is shortly. Was it 2001 or seven? Maybe it was 2008. I think it was August of 2008.
Speaker 2:And so the wedding, the wedding goes on and they're like all right, we're out of here and I'm like, I'm primed up, I'm looking good, I'm in a suit, I'm not going home, right, I'm single, I'm going to the bar. So I go to the local watering hole, which was Lou and Carl's. It's where everyone went in our town and again being, you know, four years out of high school, or something like that. When you go in there, it's nothing but high fives, you know, just high five, and go down the gauntlet. You see all your friends and and I'd already had a couple. So I'm feeling loosey, goosey and feeling good about myself.
Speaker 2:And I walked to the back and sat at some friends and like, hey, you see that girl you walked past in the. You know, when you walked in, I was like her right there and the Abercrombie shirt, she goes. Yeah, I said, what about her? She goes, well, she thinks you're hot. I was like like, at the time I didn't consider like I just got here. There's no way she thinks I'm hot. She doesn't even know who the hell I am. Right, it was enough for me though, right, so I would be aligned it straight to her.
Speaker 2:And I was like, hey, what's going on? And her friends had drug her out of the house. Right, she didn't want to go. She had just, uh, she was in the process of finishing her degree. Um, she is an incredibly hard worker. So she put her nose down. She's got a plan. She is graduating college. Uh, there was no bullshit. There was no time for guys. I'm getting a job. I'm going to make, you know, $80,000. By the time that I turned, I don't know what it was she's. She's always been super goal oriented Right, but having a man in her life was not part of that plan, right?
Speaker 2:And she still, to this day, reminds me of that. She said thanks for screwing up my plans. Um, now it's more like thanks for screwing up my plans, but, um, yeah, so it's uh. So I went over there and we sat down and I I was in the mood to party and I never even ordered a drink. I sat down and we struck, struck up a conversation and we talked until the lights came on and the bar closed and, uh, I walked her to her car and, uh, there was a spider in there and it scared her. So she kind of jumped towards me and I took that opportunity to kiss her and I was hooked. That was uh, that was pretty much the end of that. Now, like I said, she wasn't looking for anyone, and so I was. I was very, um, what was the word I'm looking for here? Um, adamant, I wasn't letting her out of my sight. Right, I was. Persistent is the word.
Speaker 2:I was looking for Um, and uh, sooner or later she caved. She gave me another shot, right, but I was trying to do the whole, like you don't text for three days, kind of thing. And so in my head, I'm like this is dumb man. I just, I just want to text her. I had a great time talking to her. Not allowed, I'm not allowed to text her for three days, right, you got the rules that you have to follow. So I'm I'm trying to follow the rules, and so I finally, I finally text her and I'm like, hey, she's like, oh, three days later, now you want to talk to me. I'm like, damn it, you know. So she's funny about it. She's got a great sense of humor and personality.
Speaker 2:Still wasn't looking for, you know, a guy, though, and I just kind of kept pushing and sooner or later, you know, she'd give me a shot. We'd go hang out and talk, and uh, just kept making me want more. Um, yeah, she's, she's incredible. You know it was not a rocky start, um, but I don't think that either one of us really knew what we wanted in the beginning. And uh, every time that we'd take like a very short break, uh, it just made us realize how much we appreciated each other's time, and the relationship that I had with her in the beginning is certainly not the relationship that we have now. I mean, I liked her and loved her before, but I have the absolute utmost respect for her now. I mean being my teammate in life, being the mother of my children. We compliment each other so well, in so many different ways.
Speaker 2:I couldn't imagine not being with her. You know, um, yeah, in fact, it's one of those things, like a friend of their family named Basil told me at our wedding day said, the key to love is to live knowing that it can be lost. And that really resonates for me. You know it's. It's. It's easy to say you love something, but when you actually sit down and you'd be like man, like that could be taken away from me at any moment, um, it really makes you sit down and appreciate it. I mean it's funny because, like you know, over the course of we've been together 16 years now um, which, in my mind, is wild Our 11th anniversary, our 11th wedding anniversary, was October 19th of this year and, uh, so not too long ago.
Speaker 2:But, um, yeah, just the, the blessings that you know she's given me in my life, the, the patience that she has to put up with my, my, my BS and um, you know, but also the, the grit that she has to be able to duck down. And, you know, neither one of us are too good to do anything. There's no roles that, uh, you know, we wouldn't, uh, we wouldn't take. But yeah, that's man. Marrying her was, single handedly, the best decision of my life. Um, there's no doubt about it, and I can say that with a smile on my face, that's for sure, and you are.
Speaker 1:And I am.
Speaker 2:I got a pretty big smile on my face about it. No, but she is. She is awesome, she's everything. She's determined, she's motivated, she's driven, she's always got goals, she's always the hardest worker in the room and, you know, she just still can't get enough of her chasing around the house as often as I can.
Speaker 1:There you go. You have to do that, and that's a fact. And that's resulted in two, two kids, two beautiful kids, yep.
Speaker 2:Um, you know, and we struggled to have kids. In fact, we tried for two years. Um, a quick, cool story about god's plan is you know, I already told you like, growing up, I have, uh, two brothers, one sister. Um, I have a ton of cousins, though, a ton of cousins and second cousins. I mean, when we go to family reunion, there's there's 50 60 people there, um, so my childhood was awesome in the fact that, like, we had an entire hockey team of nothing but family with cousins and second cousins and you know, a couple really close friends that were like cousins.
Speaker 2:Um, so, yeah, anytime that we'd go to family reunions at the pond. I mean, the holidays were always crazy growing up. We had the biggest parties, uh, for thanksgiving and and christmas, um, you, if there was a birthday party, everyone was always invited. So, so, growing up, like, I had a ton of friends because of sports and school, but I also had a ton of close family because of that, and so in my head, when it came to building our own family, I really wanted that same thing for the, for my kids. I wanted to have, you know, four kids and I wanted my other siblings to have tons of kids so that we could, all you know, have a bunch of family running around and terrorizing it and they could do what we did growing up.
Speaker 2:And that was honestly my, my, my goal. That's what I wanted, um, and Sarah was like absolutely not. In fact, we broke up. One of the times that we broke up was because she said that she didn't want kids and I said, well, I, I have to. It's, it's in my life's plan, like I have to have kids. There's no way I can't be a father. I didn't know what that meant at the time, um, but uh, she's like. She's like, well, you're not getting four. She's like I could settle for two and um, and you know, to her credit, you know, with a divorce rate being what it is these days and how easy it is, uh, just with social media, um, majority of our friends are all divorced. There's very few and far between that have stuck it out as long as we have Um, and she didn't want that for us. She didn't want to be a single mom and I can't blame her, you know, and uh, and thankfully, that just isn't the case for us, not not now and hopefully not ever, um. But yeah, we tried for two years and, looking back, it's funny because, with IVF and the medications trying to make it happen, it was all due to stress.
Speaker 2:When I say she was a hard worker. I'm telling you. That woman worked for Marriott Hotels at the time, 60-hour weeks, but she was salaried, so she was making a 40 hour paycheck uh, constantly trying to climb the ladder with the next resume builder. And she was an event coordinator. She did weddings she, the amount of weddings that she'd do in a single year was insane, taking crap from everyone but then still have to do the hotel responsibilities, and it was insane, um, but she just had a really rough go with the employer and there was no support. Uh, they fired the food and beverage director, so she was in charge of food and beverage as the catering director, and then they didn't have the staff again.
Speaker 2:It's 2008,. Right, right, um, and so or no, it's not 2008. At that time, we're married, we're trying to have kids. This is like 2014. Um, actually I'm sorry At this moment, we've been trying, but it's. It's actually closer to 2015, cause, zoe was born in 2016.
Speaker 2:And, uh, we had already had the conversation. Like, we make enough money, I'm working, I have a great job. Um, you know, we own a home at the time, uh, which the market these days is just insane. The house that we got for $150,000 at the time in its condition would probably go for three now Like it's absolutely doubled in value, um.
Speaker 2:But you know, as everything was manageable, like we could make it and I I have your back period end and it's going to be fine, but you need to quit your job because a you're miserable and be like it's not healthy the amount of stress that she was under Um. So she had my full support, but she felt too obligated to actually pull the trigger and quit the job because she felt an obligation to provide as well. Like she's not. There's no, there's no quit in this woman. Right, it's just another reason why I love her. But and I hope honestly, I hope that if my kids listen to this, I hope that they can genuinely see how much I care for their mother. I mean, she's incredible. They are very lucky to have her as their mom.
Speaker 1:I just stopped and I completely lost my train of thought no, so she needed to quit her job.
Speaker 2:She needed to quit her job. So she called me a couple times, you know, crying prior to, I mean over the period of time, just about how bad it was and the no support and the things support and the things that they were doing to her. And one of the straws was she completely pulled this event like out of her ass and made everything happen while they they, someone screwed up the order and they didn't have her alcohol. So she went to the store and purchased it and obviously expensed it for that thing. And then they were like, well, you can't just go and buy alcohol for this event and be like it was on the list. You guys didn't do your jobs. I made it happen, no harm, no foul. Like they got charged, like what is the problem? And uh, they basically told her, told her, told her that she was like a failure and she was just devastated because in her mind she just it was a home run for the weekend, like she had no staff. She had three weddings that she single-handedly, you know, did on her own, with uh, with her crew. And uh, I said Sarah, I said I love you, I said, but I don't want you calling me again in tears saying how bad it is when I've already given you the green light to quit your job. I said we're fine, and I don't want to hear anything else about it, I said. I said I know you have a resume or a resignation letter. I said go turn it in right now, don't even think twice, just do it. And so she did. She's like okay. And she did, and she was pregnant a month later. I mean, it's you know, and? Um, the cool.
Speaker 2:The cool story about all of that, though, is, you know, when we found out, we waited until Christmas to tell the family, right, and uh, shortly after we had told them, it was the end of January that my brother, justin, and his wife had announced that they were expecting, and so now the cousins are close in age. All of me and my cousins were literally one year apart, like, and it's just goes down the line, all of us. It's, it's wild. There's like 15 of us that are just like super, super close in age, and so God's plan was working. And then, you know, we had Sarah got pregnant with, with Levi, our second, and then my brother, chris, announced that they were having a son, and they got Colt, and then we had Mia, and then Chloe came along and next thing, you know, we got Layla and now Renly, and so, like, there's just this big family of a bunch of grandkids and um, and uh, and, and Deacon don't want to forget Deacon Deacon passed. So Wade was actually a twin and um, and uh, I'd love to see what he'd be up to these days. But but, blessed with a huge family, and God's plan was that they were going to be close in age. It just wasn't on my timeline, right, and uh, and that's totally cool, man, that's a fact, you know. But it's again, it's one of those things where it's it's allowing yourself to kind of step back. And uh, especially in my faith, you know, you can't be in control and majority of the times. So, yeah, I'm very thankful for that. So, family life uh, we got the kids.
Speaker 2:Um, I'm working at department of justice. Uh, some health things come along. You know I'm a disabled vet, um, by definition, according to the VA, um, for a whole host of injuries, primarily the TBI, my back, um, you know, you got hearing loss and tinnitus and all the the other ones from the gunfire and all the bonus stuff, all the bonus stuff, the freebies, if you will, um, uh, but because of that, uh, I'm rated at a hundred percent and I was offered a medical retirement at the department of justice. So I had worked there nine years and it wasn't an easy decision, but it kind of was, uh, just based on the fact that, you know, the little bit of retirement that they would give me from the prison would help cover, you know, just normal everyday financial costs, along with my disability, that I'm able to. I was able to work less hours doing something else and, you know, provide and all of the things. Not only that, but you know I, medically retired, don't provide, and all of the things. Not only that, but you know, I medically retired in 2018 when my son was born. So the day that my son was born, I went on maternity leave and I just never went back to work.
Speaker 2:Um, I had all of my paperwork ready and I walked in, I submitted it and she's like you can't just like turn in a retirement packet, like there's a process. I was like, no, I understand, I had Jennings, he already went through the process and uh, so he had kind of coached me and helped me fill out the paperwork in advance. And they're like no, no, no, no, no, no, you got to have a doctor's evaluation. It's got to be in a specific format with a letter, and you got to have medical documentation. I said I'm aware. I said it's all right here. She's like oh my God, she's like you. Actually she's like, but how she's like, don't, nevermind, she's like okay, she's like. Well, I will submit this up. And I retired officially within five weeks, which was the fastest anyone's ever medically retired out of FCI Milan. Again, thanks to Jeff Jennings.
Speaker 2:If it wasn't for Jennings, I don't know where I would be today. Just the guidance that that man has provided and the support over the course of my lifetime since meeting him has been incredible. Got to give the shout outs, but yeah. So, unlike a lot of father figures I actually had, I had three months of of FMLA that I got to spend with Zoe when she was born and again, you know, being such a great teammate with my wife, or team with my wife, she had to be up in the middle of the night to pump, right, and so she let me sleep because she had to be up anyway.
Speaker 2:So she would get up, she'd pump, she'd feed Zoe, and then, you know, I would sleep through the night and then I would get up during the day and she'd be able to sleep during the day, and it was just, it was a beautiful situation, you know, very blessed to be able to have that opportunity. So when Levi came along, I was already home and, um, we, we kind of undertook a larger project at the time. So, levi, I medically retired Levi's born Zoe or Sarah's home, uh, on FMLA, and we decided to build a 900 square foot addition on our house. And I'm going to, and I'm going to do it. Why not? Yeah, cause all of a sudden I got the time Right, right, so so we, uh, I, I work and coordinate with my neighbor across the street, a really good friend of ours, pat Gardner. Um, he's, you know, absolutely an uncle to our, our kids.
Speaker 2:He's he's incredible, he's awesome, Um, but anyways, he's, he's, he is. He's not a Jack of all trades, he's an expert in everything he does, Um. And so I had hired him to help me do everything. So, like, all right, so the first step is to lay it out. Then you got to dig footings and you got to pour concrete and you got to lay block and then you got to, like you know, build yourself, frame and your floors and blah, blah, blah. And so every step of the way, he would say, okay, this is how you do it and this is how it's gotta be done, and he would help me, and then I'd finish it and I'd get an inspection. Good to go.
Speaker 2:Um, one of the biggest ones was laying the block, you know. So he dug the footings and the first time that the guy came out to do the inspection, you know, this five foot seven bulldog of a man jumps out of this big truck and I'm like, oh shit, here we go. He jumps out. I'm like, hey, what's going on? Completely. Walks right past me. Hey, is all I get. He goes and he looks at the pins that I put into the foundation of the existing house and he's like, do you do this work. I said, yeah, I was like my buddy's helping me build it. I was like it's back filled with hydraulic cement. He's like, oh, you did this. I said, yeah, and he goes this looks awesome. I'm like, oh man. So you know, it turns out he was a huge supporter of vets. Uh, you know he's a brother in Christ and uh, before you knew it, you know I'm approving permits by by text with pictures just another awesome situation Gave me tons of cool pointers.
Speaker 2:Uh, the house project was a lot. I mean, I laid brick for an interblock for an entire month in the dead of July, like a hundred and 105 some days just just the craziest workouts that I've ever had in my entire life with that mentality, just blaring music. And you know, uh, family stepped up in a big way. My mother-in-law was constantly there watching the kids so that Sarah could rest and I could work and and what have you. Um, but in the end we were able to build a beautiful home, you know, for my family and, uh, the kids got the rooms they deserve. We got a huge, great room, so that, you know, it's perfect for entertaining and it's very welcoming. You know, it reminds me of my childhood home. Yeah, when we were 16, we had bought my grandparents place and my dad had built uh, it was like 1800, just 2000 square foot house. We built a house on top of a house. Basically is what happened? And um, yeah, I mean that's another whole long story of eating little Caesar's pizza, you know, cause it was in the dead of winter a lot of times, so you didn't even have to refrigerate. I just you showed up and you ate the cold pizza that was sitting on the counter or on the floor or wherever we had at the time, um, but no, being able to, you know, be there in every moment with them as a father is something that not everyone gets the opportunity to do, and for me, that was that's huge. You know, um, my kids are my best friends. I call them the roommates. They're my little homies, um, but we do everything together, you know, and even during the midst of COVID, um, you know, people were scared to leave their houses and, in my opinion, like, ever since we had Zoe, like she went everywhere with me. If we were going to the grocery store, it wasn't an inconvenience, it was just the new way, you know. And so we went everywhere, we did everything, and to this day, I mean, you know, later down the road, uh, we opened up a craft company. Um, so the kids are involved in that, you know, they, they help us do some painting or organizing or whatever little things that they can do, like they're involved in the family business.
Speaker 2:Um, then we opened up a travel agency in 2022 because we didn't make enough money doing crafting to travel. That was the whole purpose, right, right. We opened up make us home creations so that we can make money and travel Um, again, my wife's idea, she's incredible. And then we opened up a travel agency, went down this crazy rabbit hole after figuring out how expensive travel actually was. So we opened up the travel agency and now there are little reps and they're talking to people about cruises.
Speaker 2:But again, because we did everything together, we do everything together, like we hold them to a very high standard. Know, we're we're super chill, don't get me wrong, but there is expectations of pulling your own weight and working as a team. Um, our hashtag or our motto is team micas, um and I, again, I, we live and die by it. You know there's. You don't do anything, you don't have to do anything alone. You know that you've always got the support, but you are expected to do. You know that you've always got the support, but you are expected to do. You know your, your responsibilities, because they do that.
Speaker 2:They're the most well-behaved kids in the area, like you don't have to ask them twice Most times if they're. If they're not, they're still kids. They're still kids, for sure, but because they're responsible and they conduct themselves accordingly in public. Like we get to do a lot of cool stuff, right, like we're constantly on airplanes going to different. I mean, my kids have seen more countries than I I. You know. I told you the first time I got on a plane I was 19, heading to basic um, you know, Levi was what Five?
Speaker 2:He was five years old and we went to Mexico. That's a rough life, kid, you know. But uh, yeah, the car seat backpacks the you know, just having to travel and pack everything, and it didn't. It wasn't an inconvenience, it was just the new thing you had to do in order to accomplish your mission.
Speaker 2:Yeah and um so yeah, in the airports they're. They're good, they got their their carry on. They're rolling it and they know that they were. They know where they have to be when we're walking in. You know, in the airport they got to be in front of us or between us, so they know that if they're walking in a parking lot then they stay to our right-hand side so that they're not in the middle of traffic. I mean, it's just little things that you instill, but again, I can't speak for other people's families, but I know that when we go out we don't have to worry about a lot of things and a lot of people that I know do set the precedence. My wife and I are on the same page as far as do these things and we get to do more fun things Set the expectation and then drive the standard home.
Speaker 1:That's a fact. So you have just to recap you have sort of built the life that was modeled by your parents right up into the home that you've built. Oh yeah, you had a career at the Department of Justice. You get done with that. You have children. You decide you're going to open up a craft company, but you're not making enough money to travel. So you open up a travel agency and you're traveling and you're not busy enough. So you get involved in this nonprofit organization that I want to talk a little bit about too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so Veterans Connected. Going back to military service, there was a lot of highs and lows due to a chemical imbalance in my brain from the traumatic brain injury, and it's manageable, right. I got put on medication for it to stop the highs and the lows, and it really made a huge difference. It really did. The problem with any kind of medication is that there's still those highs where, you know, it's not even really for me, like, one of the greatest things that I think I love about myself is how excited I get about other people succeeding right, giving other people the encouragement to be at their best and just kind of play some sort of small role in their success, even if that's just encouraging them to take the next step. And so that excitement that I used to get that high that I would write ride from building people up, was just kind of gone. I didn't have like those high highs anymore, and so it kept me from having the depression, you know. But I wasn't reaching that impact potential or even really happy with myself and so to speak.
Speaker 2:Uh, so you know, before I got put on the medication, though, I was suicidal and I had lost some friends. Um, I've, I've lost five friends to suicide. Um, one is too many. Five just eats at you, right, and especially when you're going through those hard times. Um, you know it's uh, you don't feel like anyone can relate. You're misunderstood. Uh, as I had mentioned, for me, I didn't have any reason to feel that way and, from my perspective, I come from a great family. I have two beautiful kids. Um, you know, I have an amazing wife, um, but in 2018, when my son was born and I medically retired, there was just so many things that went on. Uh, we dove all in and I'll tell you what man, my, my marriage is. I'm so thankful for my marriage and my wife's patience and, um, and just the things that we've been able to accomplish together as a team. Um, you know, shoot, I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought exactly where we're going at this again, but but, uh, yeah, we weren't busy enough, so we decided to open up a travel agency to travel and, uh, now we've got sports and and all things and, having lost my friends to suicide, I had already been not part of this organization, veterans Connected, but I had attended their Ruck to Live events, different functions that they would have supporting veterans in our community.
Speaker 2:But just so you're aware, veterans Connected is a 501c3 charitable organization that provides camaraderie, support, financial assistance, and at the heart of our mission is suicide prevention. Right, basically, what we try to do is give people a hand up and reduce the stressors in lives so that they're not put in those situations where they feel helpless and they can find their purpose and become a know, become a productive member of society. Right, we just we don't want anyone to feel like they're left behind or forgotten about, right? So in 2019, you know, 27% of people in our community weren't eligible for any type of assistance because either they didn't serve in a wartime and they weren't registered with the VA or whatever happened. You know, whatever have you? Um? But one of the biggest issues for people getting help is, uh, the way that bylaws are written, right? So organizations have to follow specific rules and because of that, there's a lot of people that were just hung out to dry, um, and so our bylaws were written in a way that we can kind of bypass that red tape and help people in their time of need and not be confined by the fine print. So five people sat around a table at a Bible study one day and decided to do something about the problem. And you know, here we are five years later and we've given away over $650,000 in, um, you know, assistance to people in our community and outside of our state. Um, it's really something amazing to be part of. I mean the lives that we've changed, um, and it's not our work, you know. Our common prayer is you know, god sent us the right people at the right time to do your work through our hands, um, and obviously all glory would go to him.
Speaker 2:Um, but the impact, the personal relationships, that Live Initiative, which is a suicide prevention ruck march and patriotic walk. So every September we get together, we raise a lot of money and we honor and remember veterans and now civilians that have taken their lives by suicide at this event. So we ruck a mile, we ruck eight miles in total, but every mile we stop and there's a small memorial set up where the family members are in attendance and they speak on their, their, you know, loved ones behalf, and then a little bit about how it's affected them, just to try and open up conversations amongst the group, uh, to get people thinking, and uh, and create the conversations that lead to change and lead to impact. You know, since we started this event, the proceeds benefit, you know, either different veterans, organizations or fund our mission. You know it funds Reboot Recovery, which is a 12-week trauma course. There's three different aspects. You've got first responder, you've got combat and then you've got general trauma. And so you know we need money for that because it provides a space for the, for the, the healing or the, the, the training classes, provides daycare and it provides a meal. So it tries again.
Speaker 2:You know, when we talk about a hand up and trying to relieve the stressors of of everyday lives, like we sincerely mean it and so, yeah, it's a, it's a great event, for people have come to us so far and said, you know, because of the conversations that we had during this event, it gave us the courage to choose life. And that's huge man. I mean that's not, it's not mission complete, but that is an absolute win. And that's huge, man. I mean that's not, it's not mission complete, but that is an absolute win, it's an absolute battle win, um, and so, yeah, I mean suicide prevention is at the heart of my advocacy and, um, I've learned a lot and I haven't always learned them the right ways.
Speaker 2:I mean, when you're in a situation of struggling and, uh, your friends are struggling. You do everything that you can, what you think is right, um, to try and help them. I mean I've man the things that I've done, you know, and not just me, but friends as well. You know, going through cleaning the apartments when all the signs are there you know all the beer bottles, and I mean just taking, picking up trash and the attitudes and the comments and looking back, you know I should have just handcuffed them to myself and went straight to the hospital. I've lost.
Speaker 2:I've personally been involved in trying to help two of my friends and it just didn't pan out. I mean I called the police, I had the police show up. Oh yeah, he's fine, he's there with his daughter Ended up hanging himself that night. Another buddy of mine I thought he was on the up and up. I mean we had, we had plans, uh, we were going to the gym together, he was doing great with his girlfriend, the apartment was clean, like he was on track. I'm getting status updates and progress reports and then come to find out he just stopped responding one day and he was at a wedding came home after a great evening with his his girlfriend, locked himself in the bathroom and blew his head off. I mean you, just you can't accept personal responsibility for for those kinds of things, and I've struggled with those losses for several years. Um, and you learn a lot from them, you know, um.
Speaker 1:I think we're taught, uh, a lot of times we're taught that, oh, here's these signs that are there when someone's going to do this. You know, look for these things. And I think what I have learned in in burying at least one person every year since I got back um, is that, uh, especially with veterans, there aren't, the signs aren't, aren't there. You didn't miss something. You didn't. There wasn't something you didn't do. They were going to do it. You know, and I think that's the important thing with organizations like yours and others is that there's a level of professional help that can. They can help these folks if they're willing to take advantage of it. And I think your organization helps bring that to the surface so that maybe someone who's thinking about this, maybe they go on that ruck march. You know, when you say, the four people that have come to you and said this changed me.
Speaker 1:It reminds me of the story of of the guy who's walking down the beach and there's thousands of starfish that have washed up, something happened and all these starfish are on the beach. He's walking on the beach and he's throwing these starfish back in the water. Someone comes up to him and says the hell are you doing? And the guy says well, I'm, I'm throwing these starfish back in the water, I'm going to save their lives. And the guy says there's thousands of starfish out here, what you're doing doesn't matter. And the guy picks up a starfish, throws it in the water and says it mattered to that one. And I think that's what what we do, right. We can't fix everybody, but those four people who didn't do it, that mattered. That mattered to them and their families.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and um, and, and you know the veterans and civilians, as I mentioned. You know mental health affects everybody, yes and uh. You know the veterans and civilians, as I mentioned. You know mental health affects everybody, yes and uh. You know everybody needs support.
Speaker 2:And there's one thing that I've learned, uh, especially in my time with veterans connected and serving others after serving uh with the military, is that you know, um, mental health and trauma doesn't discriminate. It doesn't matter if you're you know male, female, what age you are, um it's coming and uh, or what your background in trauma is and um, and so you know. For that reason, this year specifically, we, we made the conscious effort to include everybody. We partnered with schools, we partnered with local organizations, um, some nationally, um really just trying to spread faith, hope and love, you know, letting them know that you're not forgotten, you are cared about, you are worthy, you do matter, you are enough. All the lies that were told that lead to suicide. They are just, they're just that they're lies. You know, you are, you are so much more than the crap that we're, you know, constantly told about ourselves or the stereotypes.
Speaker 2:One of the cool things that we do at the events is, um, or what we did at one of them is we had these, these cars brought in. We had a big car crusher right and we had, uh, two vehicles brought in and white, and we had a ton of Sharpie markers and and on these vehicles you were supposed to write something that you identify with or something that you struggle with. Um, so you'll see a lot of them where, um, you know it should have been me. You know I shouldn't be alive today. Um, I'm, you know I'm, dumb, I'm fat, I'm, you know, ugly, I'm. Whatever, the, whatever it is that you're.
Speaker 2:You know you're telling yourself in your head whatever, that internal dialogue yeah exactly that's making you uncomfortable or depressed, like, write that shit on there and then we're going to crush the hell out of it. And that's what we did, man. We rocked for eight miles, we remembered a lot of families, um, and then we came back and we crushed those stereotypes, and that's that's honestly what it's about. It's about breaking the breaking the barriers. Um, one thing that I was really, really proud of, you know, at this past event uh, my dad being the Marine, right, so my dad's on the board with us as well. Um, he's actually the vice vice president, and, um, he is the man's man, he's, he's still out there. He's building decks, he's fixing people's houses. You know he's, he's the, the one working with the hands.
Speaker 2:You know we all chip in and do this, and that's where he he leads the most, um, but but during our break, where we were about halfway done with the eight miles, uh, we just kind of had a moment of reflection, right, and I wanted to try something new, uh, and so I proposed you know everyone, gather around, grab yourself some water, change your socks, grab some, uh, some snacks. And we just sat on the back of the trailer and there was probably 70 of us or so that were gathered around. It was actually one of the lowest turnouts, simply based on whether it was supposed to rain all that all that day. So only half of the registered people actually attended the event. But you know it's, we don't ask for the most, we ask for the right ones, and the ones that needed it showed up, and and so we all gathered around and I was just like hey, I was like I'm going to be real with you guys. We've never done this before, but we want to try something new. And I said we all know that the conversations that happen at this event are what drive change. I said so I just want to open it up to to everybody, to kind of speak what's on your heart. And I said, and I'll start, I'm going to just kind of way to, uh, give back to others.
Speaker 2:Uh, suicide prevention is at the heart of my advocacy. Uh, I've struggled personally with mental health. Um, and if I can be a light to others after losing, you know, so many of my friends, I said that's what I'm here for. I said every year that we've done this, we've literally recognized a friend of mine that we've lost. You know we've Clayton, um, chris Gokey, command sergeant, major Folsom, Um, I mean, you name it, and I've lost a lot of civilian friends to suicide too. That worked at either in corrections or or what have you.
Speaker 2:Um, but you know, the loss is real, the effects are real and you have to get the stuff off your chest. As I told you, I've got a great friend named Troy Licata that we keep in contact with daily, you know, with Snapchat and like that, that man in the mirror stuff is real. It is so important to talk just out loud, even if it's just like acknowledging what's going on in your own life. You know, vocally to a, to a phone, you know that's going to someone else and they don't even need to respond. It's just the fact that you got it off your chest. But I said I've struggled with this and uh, you know, uh, now's the time if anyone wants to say anything about something that they've struggled with or friends that they've lost, and so people just started opening up and, before you knew it, like people were chomping at the bit to get to the opportunity to say their piece and, um, and my dad spoke up.
Speaker 2:You know, and I wasn't expecting that, you know, my dad is the, the bad-ass, the hard-ass, you know. You know, and growing up, uh, he was an incredible father but he most certainly had the you know, shut, sit down, shut up, suck it up, do the work. You know, let's go and um and uh, and he said, you know my entire life he's been told, or I've been told, uh, that it is it's our job to, just as men, to sit down, suck it up and just eat it. Um, he's like it's, it's about time that we end that. He's like we don't need to sit down and shit up Now, we need to talk it out. And, uh, to hear that coming out of his mouth is like man, like you know, coming out of his mouth is like man, like you know, mind blown. The impact is made, you know, just to see the kind of person that he's became after retirement and having the grandkids. You know he was always a great dad, he was always there and, you know, the hardest worker I've ever met. But to see him kind of soften up a little bit with the grandkids and take on this new role within Veterans, connected alongside of us, is really humbling and awesome to watch. You know, it became closer to God and and he's just, he's a blessing in a lot of people's lives.
Speaker 2:So, with Veterans Connected, you know, we do all kinds of things A lot of times just paying down bills, giving people that kind of financial relief. I mean, that's why we raise the money right, we do a lot of things making sure that people's homes are safe, whether that's with a deck or handrails. We'll do some small home projects. We've done some very large home projects, did a complete home makeover. There was like 317 logged hours. There was a couple different companies that came through. I don't even know 50 volunteers.
Speaker 2:I know personally I worked like 40 hours one week, and then about another 20, some odd hours the next week putting on a roof, um, and I've I've always enjoyed working with my hands. I get that from my dad, um, and after I retired I I worked in construction for a couple years, but I'll be honest with you, like that type of work in my, my service. You know issues like my back. It just kills me anything overhead and I'm down, and so I can do it. My body doesn't like it, though, but no, the difference that we can make in people's lives is incredible and, in all honesty, like we have all of the support from the people in our community. We are so blessed with the businesses and the relationships. Everyone always steps up. We're certainly not lacking support, but it is awareness right. We're there for a common purpose and everyone loves the purpose Once they find out about us. We just got to get them to know about us so that that brings me to a question.
Speaker 1:If someone wants to find out more about Veterans Connected, where do they?
Speaker 2:go. So you can find us online wwwveteransconnectedorg. It's easy to donate. There's several different ways you can find us on. It's all on our website. You can also message us on social media. We're on Facebook and Instagram, soon to be on TikTok.
Speaker 2:That's a role that I'm going to have to take over and I just haven't. I'm not a social media person, but I'm doing my best. But, yeah, there's ample opportunities to volunteer and to serve. We're a small board. We're only a board of four members. We're all unpaid, and then we have one event coordinator, barb, who is a veteran spouse, and she's incredible.
Speaker 2:We do a lot during the year. Our biggest ones are the Ruck to Live. We've got the Victory for Veterans Dinner, which is a huge dinner benefit to raise money for our mission for the year. We do a 5K. We do a Women's Night Out for women veterans and we have our Adopt-a-Soldier program in December, which is kind of it's turned into like a volunteer appreciation slash, just loving on families you know that are in need. We get some good sponsors where it usually doesn't cost us a dime.
Speaker 2:But yeah, we're able to make such a huge impact in a positive way in people's lives Again, just furthering the mission, just showing people that they're not forgotten about and that they're loved.
Speaker 2:It really has been a huge blessing to be part of.
Speaker 2:But make no mistake about it, like there is a lot of work and if it wasn't for me being medically retired, there's no way that I would have been able to put in the amount of time and effort that I have to make, you know, these things possible together as a team.
Speaker 2:And I think again like that's one thing that you know I really love about our organization Aside from being all unpaid, we're all just volunteers trying to make a difference in people's lives, and that really resonates with people who are donating because their dollars go further. They know that when they give to us, they're actually giving through us, you know, and they're directly impacting, you know, someone's life. We take care of veterans and their families and we provide wheelchairs for for veterans families, for kids that couldn't get funding or the assistance that they needed. We have the largest medical closet in Livingston County so, and it's open to everybody, not just veterans and their families. So it's like you know, we try and we're just constantly trying to do good by people and do right. That's all I mean. Who wouldn't want to be a part of something great like that.
Speaker 1:No doubt. So veteransconnectedorg is where they can go check all that out. Yes, sir. Well, we have talked quite a bit today and I've learned a lot about you that I didn't know, and I'm really glad to have heard your story and the things that you've done and the life that you're leading now is amazing, and I think there's going to be even more amazing things as we come to a close. During this interview, though, I always ask a question, and the question is a hundred years from now, when someone's listening to this story, what would you like for them to take away from our conversation?
Speaker 2:and, more importantly, from your life. Life, um. I mean if, and looking back, you know, like I said earlier, if my kids listen to this, or family or friends, I just I hope that they, they know that I love them. I hope that they see the things that I do, uh, the way that I act, the way I respond, the things that we do together as a family, um, or even relation, relationally, as you know, as friends or acquaintances, um, it's all in love. You know, I've, I've had tons of support growing up, um, ample opportunities, and, uh, the reality is not everyone has has that, and so, you know, as we talked, there's several reasons why maybe I shouldn't be here today, but I am, and so it's easy for me to live a life of gratitude, knowing that, you know there's there's a lot of reasons why I shouldn't be here, um, and so, yeah, I just.
Speaker 2:I'm just a guy. I love God. I've been given ample opportunities to, to raise a beautiful family and have an incredible marriage. Um and uh, yeah, it's just the people that I come across. It seems like God's given me this, this opportunity to create impact, and I mean it's it's honestly something as simple as like walking into Kroger and watching people walk with their head downs and, in all honesty, like the world at this time and places, it's crazy. Right, it's pretty chaotic, it's an election year, it's always nuts, um, but we're still just people. Every single day, day in, day out, we all need love, we all need support and encouragement and so, like I am that guy as we're walking by, if I see you with your head down, I'm going to ask you how your day is going, and when you don't acknowledge me, I'm going to ask you again. You know how are you doing, and then I'm going to go for a high five. All right, just really get you out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 2:The amount of times that I've stopped and made people laugh, like I remember pulling up to a stoplight and there was this sweet old lady who just looks. She was stressed out. She was in a white escape windows up to, just you know, 10 and two. And uh, I'm just feeling myself, I'm having a great day, sunshine, and like there's no reason to be down. So I rolled in my window and then she kind of makes eye contact. So I do the old school roll your window down thing, and so she's kind of panicked. She looks over me. It's like, it's like you want to race. I mean now, mind you, this woman is like dolled up to the nine. She's clearly on to like this huge perma smile and then she let out this huge belt of laughter, right, and uh, and I was like, you know, have a great day, and I drove off.
Speaker 2:Um, I would encourage everybody to try and make that kind of impact in people's lives. And it was something so simple. You know it was just a joke, but you can ask people how their day is going and you can just tell them. You know, I hope something good happens to you today. Um, just man, we need more love and kindness in this world and if you can be, if you can be an avenue to create that kind of impact, then I encourage you to do so, and that's what I try and do with my life.
Speaker 1:All right, I see you're building quite a legacy for your family and yourself and for the people around you, so we appreciate that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's honestly, it's a gift that I've been afforded the opportunity to do so. If I don't do it, I feel like I'm failing myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well thanks for taking time out of your busy life to come sit here and talk with us for a couple hours. We really appreciate it. Sir, I sincerely appreciate this opportunity and everything that you're doing to capture these stories for veterans. You know you and I had talked briefly about this in passing, but after going through this experience, man, I would absolutely encourage everyone, every veteran that has the opportunity to relive their story. There's so many, you know, periods of my life that we've touched on that I haven't spoken about in years, reliving those memories and as we talked about, like I can, I can still smell the JP eight you know, from the motor pool refueling, and or the crisp air from the trainings, or the sunlight hitting my neck with my kids on my shoulders as we're watching the parades.
Speaker 2:You know, all the little, all the little gifts in life, um, that we typically take for granted Cause we're so busy just moving at 120 mile an hour. We just got to slow it down. We just got to slow it down and, uh, really take in all the good times and, you know, be grateful in both good times and bad and uh, yeah, just love each other.
